Colleges have friendly resources

Dear Annie: This is for “Concerned Mom” whose daughter was having trouble making new friends in college during COVID-19. The first point of contact for the student is her academic adviser. “Trouble making friends” is a good reason for a visit. Most universities now have “cohort courses” for first-year students with the intended purpose of establishing community among freshmen and transfers. Often, there is a separate such course for each major program.

Colleges also have clubs and other extracurricular organizations — some of which may still be active during the pandemic.

— Professor Who Cares

Dear Professor: Thank you for reminding us how often opportunities for connection and friendship are available; we just need to ask. It’s amazing to hear how resilient college students have been during this unprecedented time.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “D.K.,” who complained about Al-anon. Al-anon is often described as a selfish program. Those who constantly are thinking about their alcoholic loved ones may be at a loss when they are encouraged to start thinking about themselves. I, for one, thought plenty about myself and, like many others, came to Al-anon to learn how to fix the alcoholic so I could get back to my normal life. I, too, had ideas of how my meetings should change. Yet, I knew Al-anon was a decades-old program that worked for many others.

I read every program-approved book and pamphlet. I learned the slogans and worked the steps. I learn to give service to others. Sometimes by simply being silent in meetings. I learned about my part in relationships. I learned how to love my God, myself and my fellow man and how to live with them.

— A Grateful Al-anon Member

Dear Grateful: Thank you for sharing your experience and appreciation for this program.

Dear Annie: I’m not writing with a warning. My hubby had his annual sinus cough that hung on with a slight fever this summer. He tried to see our doctor and had to get a COVID-19 test. It was negative. A week passed while we waited for the results, and they wanted another test and another X-ray. Three weeks later, my husband was sick with a fever. He was dead within a week from pneumonia and toxic shock.

I wasn’t allowed to go into the hospital, so he was all alone. Please tell the world not to wait for medical issues.

— Missing My Husband

Dear Missing: I am so sorry for your loss. Your advice to seek immediate medical attention, especially if you have a preexisting condition, is on point. This is a difficult time, and not being able to be with a loved one who dies adds a layer of pain that, frankly, no person should endure. Let loved ones support you, and consider finding a grief support group to help you process your loss.

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