In-law is apathetic toward family
Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law could probably have written the letter about the person trying too hard to please their disapproving motherin-law. The reality is that there are always two sides to every story. Mine is that at some point, I did or said something to hurt my daughter-in-law. But I am not allowed to know what that was. So, any apology seems empty, although I have tried.
She now treats our entire family with complete apathy. We try. We send cards and acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, despite having received no reciprocation for years. We offer to visit cross-country but are told it is a bad time. We offer to video chat but are often rejected. Our son does contact us with the grandchildren on occasion.
We would love to be a part of our grandkids’ lives, but rejection gets harder and harder with time. We are blocked from Facebook posts and are not allowed to know our granddaughter’s cell number. It is all very sad indeed. Our daughter-in-law is loved and cared for, but her perception is that she is not. Please encourage others to forgive and reconcile. Life is too short to allow bitterness to fester and relationships to be destroyed. nd they are thankful that they have us in their lives.
— Two Sides to Every Story
Dear Two Sides to Every Story: Thank you for this different perspective. Forgiveness is a gift for you to give yourself as well as your daughter-in-law. The problem with her seems to be caused by her issues, not yours. But keep trying. Her parents’ kindness is reason for hope.
Dear Annie: My brother lives next door to my parents and me and is driving me crazy. He refuses to get vaccinated despite my parents being in their 60s, and we have an immune-compromised family. He lives with a pregnant nurse, and she refuses to wear a mask or get vaccinated. They still come into our home and to small family events, and they don’t follow requests to mask up properly or socially distance. They also recently came over to our home and tried to diagnose my nephew with autism. He sees a team of professionals, including doctors, who have all stated that he is not autistic.
I tell my parents this is unacceptable behavior that crosses the line. Unfortunately, they do not agree with me, and it’s causing conflict. I understand that I cannot control my brother’s actions, and I have voiced my concerns, but he brushes me off. What else can I do?
— Living Next Door to Peter Pan
Dear Living Next Door to Peter Pan: It sounds like your parents side more with your brother, though I’m not sure why they would. Start by ironing out the rules of the house and letting them be known to all, including your parents. If you want guests — including family — to wear masks and socially distance, then they must wear masks and socially distance. As far as your brother attempting to diagnose your son, tell him to MYOB and that you are relying on professionals.
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