Teen worries feelings aren’t shared
Dear Annie: I know this awesome guy. Let’s call him “Luke.” We’re both teens, and we see each other because our little sisters are best friends and our dads get along well. I really like Luke — a lot. He’s very polite, kind and funny. My problem is that I don’t know if he feels the same way about me. There are times when I could almost swear that our feelings are mutual, but then he says or does something that makes me feel unsure. I really don’t know what to think. Any advice that you have is appreciated.
— Confused About Feelings
Dear Confused: Shoot your shot! Ask him out. There’s a very good chance he feels just as you do. And if not, he’ll be flattered, and you can move on, knowing where you stand. Let us know how it goes.
Dear Annie: I enjoy reading your column every day and usually agree with your advice. However, I think you may have missed the mark with “Am I Petty,” who reconnected with her ex-husband and is now dating him again. He met a woman on a dating app while they were briefly broken up for three weeks.
She stated that she was afraid to broach the subject with him because he gets very upset. That statement tells me that he may have been abusive and controlling in their relationship. Between the lines, I read that this man thinks only of himself and has come back to roost with a woman that he thinks will put up with him — again. You advised her to take a step back and consider whether the relationship was right for her. I think she should take that step, turn and run — not walk — in the opposite direction. She divorced him once and is asking for more heartache if she continues to let this man manipulate her.
— Know the Type
Dear Know the Type: I appreciate this insight, though I’m sorry you had occasion to gain it. It does sound as though “Am I Petty’s” husband is, at the very least, somewhat emotionally manipulative and engaging in gaslighting. Readers can learn more about this practice and how to combat it by visiting https://www.thehotline.org and entering “gaslighting” into the site search bar.
Dear Annie: Regarding “Should I Let Go for My Own Sanity”: She’s in a crummy situation, to put it mildly, but maybe getting involved with some people who’d be a little more appreciative would make her feel better. Mentoring a student, reading to students, visiting with elderly people, whatever she might like — she might get a little more appreciation and feel a little better. It doesn’t change the situation with her sons, but she might see that their opinions aren’t the only ones in the world. Just a suggestion.
— Sue M.
Dear Sue: And a very good one, at that. Thanks for writing.
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