It’ll make your day
During this period of self-imposed isolation, illness and uncertainty, it’s easy to be nonchalant and uncaring, even rude. But let’s not go that route.
Though inherently shy, I’ve always been one to smile at others.
During one of my early trips to New York City, I smiled and acknowledged people as I walked through Times Square. People were nonresponsive, and it didn’t take long to realize that’s just how New Yorkers are.
Though times and attitudes have changed, even with a mask I continue to acknowledge people with a nod and smiling eyes. I say, “pardon me,” “thank you,” and otherwise exhibit common courtesies while also keeping my distance.
In today’s world, there is a lot of cynicism, hate, discontent and sadness.
Politics is contentious and school masking divisive. At the same time, race relations are dicey. During this period of self-imposed isolation, illness and uncertainty, it’s easy to be nonchalant and uncaring, even rude. But let’s not go that route.
Instead, be caring and kind in your actions and words.
Just getting through the day is a struggle for many people. Instead of putting those around you in a worse mood and adding to their stress, negative energy and discontent, lift them up.
Yes, that seems at odds with the times we are in, but kindness and caring can make a difference – even now. Especially now.
Being the example of care and love
Many people are grieving the loss of a loved one – a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling or a close friend. People who were young to middle age and healthy have died unexpectedly. Older relatives who were doing just fine are suddenly gone.
Bereavement is never easy, and during this pandemic it is even more difficult. What you say and do can make a big difference to those who are grieving.
Try to find words that provide comfort while letting them know you support them. Telling them that you are deeply sorry for their loss, and you are there for them when they might want to talk is a simple way to do that. Ask how you might be able to help.
Try to get the bereaved to share memories and experiences about the deceased. Additionally, sending a sympathy card with a personal note is always a good idea.
During bereavement, knowing what not to say is just as important. Don’t say he or she “is in a better place now” or that the deceased “lived a long and full life.” That will not make the bereaved feel better. Nor will telling them “it was her time to go.”
Bereavement specialists also advise against saying “be strong.” It’s a natural sentiment expressed so often, but this is the time to allow the individual to feel weak as they manage their grief. Just let them know that you are there for them.
“These are very difficult times for most people,” says psychiatrist Courtney B. Johnson. “People are having problems coping with the COVID-19 crisis, destruction and loss from recent natural disasters, grief loneliness, burnout and a myriad of other psychological stressors. You never know what hidden battles others are facing. Be a light to anyone you can during these dark times.”
Enjoying the little things
Kindness also goes a long way to comfort those who are sick with COVID or caring for family who are sick. Offer to help by picking up groceries, running errands or cooking meals.
Such caring actions make a difference. They let people know that they are not alone, that somebody cares about them. It lifts self-esteem and inspires people to be kind to others, to pass on the positive vibes.
A simple and sincere “good morning,” “have a nice day,” and “thank you” can change the course of a moment, a day, a life.
Though your life is full of your own responsibilities and tasks, there are so many small things you can do to brighten someone else’s life without spending a lot of time or money.
Make cookies, brownies or a meal for an elderly neighbor or the family who has lost a loved one. Offer to run errands, cut the grass, pick up groceries.
Delivered with a cheery, comforting smile, such a gesture can make a big difference.
Say “thank you!” to a service worker who helps to keep your life running smoothly – your child’s teacher, your pastor, the delivery person, grocery store workers, your bus driver. Leave a positive online review or contact store manager to compliment a worker. When you encounter a military service member, fireman or law official, thank her or him for their service to the country and the community.
Praise a co-worker for the great work they do. Mention in a meeting, tell the boss, write a note.
Spread good news. Instead of gossiping, tell a friend or acquaintance something wonderful you heard about them. Share accomplishments of others. Let people know that your friend or neighbor has written a book, gotten a big promotion, was quoted in an article.
Register to be an organ donor, sign up to the bone marrow registry, donate blood. Such simple acts of generosity can mean life for another person.
Donate to charity. Yes, money is always appreciated, but there are plenty of organizations that would welcome your no-longer needed clothing and household goods. Clean out those closets, attics and basements and donate to groups helping battered women, children in foster care, and women and men needing appropriate clothing in search of jobs.
Compliment a stranger. Tell a person they have a wonderful smile, or that you love their hairstyle, makeup, or attire. Such little gems of kindness can create a smile and change a mood.
Check on a friend, family or church member experiencing a tough time, be that an illness, job loss or death of a loved one. You may have already sent a card or called, but weeks later your kind words and deeds will be treasured.
De-escalate sticky situations. Let another vehicle merge in front of you on a crowded highway. When you make an offensive move behind the wheel, let the other driver know it was not intentional. An appropriate hand gesture and friendly smile can resolve that. Don’t be in such a hurry that you instigate an altercation, behind the wheel and otherwise. Be generous, courteous and use common sense.
We all are experiencing unprecedented times. Amid these sometimes chaotic, always uncertain circumstances, we can shine a positive light that can brighten someone’s day. It’s amazing what a kind word, a smile, a hello, a positive act can do to enhance someone else’s day
Lynn Norment is a Memphis journalist who previously was an editor and senior writer for Ebony magazine. She can be reached at normentmedia@gmail.com
Amid these sometimes chaotic, always uncertain circumstances, we can shine a positive light that can brighten someone’s day. It’s amazing what a kind word, a smile, a hello, a positive act can do to enhance someone else’s day.