DEAR ANNIE®

Dear Annie: Each Valentine’s Day, I am filled with incredible sadness. Two years ago, my husband and I were expecting our first baby girl. Her due date was Valentine’s Day, and we were so thrilled with love and excitement at the arrival of our baby girl. Her name was going to be Valentine.

Sad to say, Valentine was born Feb. 14 as a stillbirth. It was without a doubt the most difficult day of my husband’s and my lives. We have since given birth to a beautiful boy, who has brought us joy and hope, but we will never forget our sweet Valentine. My husband and I have gone through lots of grief counseling together, and it has helped tremendously. But every Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder. How can we move past this? -- Heartbroken on Valentine’s Day

Dear Heartbroken: I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot begin to do your grief justice. The very fact that you and your husband took the steps necessary to heal is incredible. I’m not sure that you will ever completely heal. My guess is that there was life before you lost Valentine and there is now a sort of different understanding of life after her.

You sound like an amazing mother, wife and overall human being. Thank you for sharing your story. As best you can, try to let the love of your sweet Valentine fill you up. Her spirit remains with you and your family. Your letter made me think of what the real meaning of love is. One of my favorite poems comes to mind, and I will share it with you. It is widely known as “Footprints.” Its author has been disputed: