DEAR ABBY

The Dallas Morning News - - Arts & Life - By JEANNE PHILLIPS AN­DREWS MCMEEL SYN­DI­CA­TION Email via dearabby.com

Dear Abby: I have been dat­ing the most amaz­ing man for 11 months. As we ap­proach the one-year an­niver­sary of the day we met, this “per­fect” man is show­ing some not-so-per­fect traits.

He’s every­thing I have been search­ing for, but when he drinks he con­fides deep fears of dat­ing me and enu­mer­ates each of my re­la­tion­ship in­se­cu­ri­ties — nag­ging, anx­i­ety, lone­li­ness, etc. The next day he acts like noth­ing happened! He swears up and down that it was the al­co­hol talking and he doesn’t mean any of the harsh words.

Should I be­lieve him? Please don’t let me be the naive girl trav­el­ing down a dark rab­bit hole.

Self-con­scious Girl­friend Dear Girl­friend: Your “amaz­ing” man ap­pears to be a loose-lipped lush. I can’t guess the de­gree to which he blacks out when drink­ing. Some al­co­holics don’t re­mem­ber what happened the night be­fore. Oth­ers sim­ply don’t want to re­mem­ber, so they claim am­ne­sia.

Re­gard­less of how you feel about him, for your own well-be­ing, draw the line and tell him he needs to stop drink­ing. If he’s as al­co­hol-de­pen­dent as I sus­pect he is, he will give you an ar­gu­ment or an out­right re­fusal. And that’s your cue to tell him he will have to make a choice.

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