Dear Abby: I have been dating the most amazing man for 11 months. As we approach the one-year anniversary of the day we met, this “perfect” man is showing some not-so-perfect traits.
He’s everything I have been searching for, but when he drinks he confides deep fears of dating me and enumerates each of my relationship insecurities — nagging, anxiety, loneliness, etc. The next day he acts like nothing happened! He swears up and down that it was the alcohol talking and he doesn’t mean any of the harsh words.
Should I believe him? Please don’t let me be the naive girl traveling down a dark rabbit hole.
Self-conscious Girlfriend Dear Girlfriend: Your “amazing” man appears to be a loose-lipped lush. I can’t guess the degree to which he blacks out when drinking. Some alcoholics don’t remember what happened the night before. Others simply don’t want to remember, so they claim amnesia.
Regardless of how you feel about him, for your own well-being, draw the line and tell him he needs to stop drinking. If he’s as alcohol-dependent as I suspect he is, he will give you an argument or an outright refusal. And that’s your cue to tell him he will have to make a choice.