The Day

Wife tires of long marriage to a resentful curmudgeon

- By Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I will soon be married 48 years, but it is not much of a marriage. There is no sex, no touching, no kind and compassion­ate words, only bickering and arguing. I can't figure out why I'm still here. I have thought about leaving many times.

I have written three books, and because of it, my husband has ridiculed me. I have also owned and operated two businesses. I'm active in the community, which he resents. He is an introvert, while I am an extrovert. He no longer accompanie­s me to activities, but when he did, he would make snide remarks to people who stopped to chat with us. So I no longer invite him. Help me, please!

— SAD, LONELY WIFE

DEAR WIFE: I will try. If you are asking my permission to divorce your husband, I can't give it to you. Instead, I suggest you ask yourself why you have tolerated such a lonely marriage for 48 years and what you feel you would have to gain by leaving. As an intelligen­t woman, once you answer that, I think you will know what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of two. I share 50 percent custody of my children with their father. My children also have two stepparent­s.

How involved in decision-making should the stepparent­s be? I value their opinions, but I think I know what is best for my children. Their stepmother isn't particular­ly involved in their activities or pickups and drop-offs, but never hesitates to interject her opinions about what I should do with their time. It causes communicat­ion problems between their father and me. I don't want to be rude to her. Where does the line need to be drawn?

— MOMMA KNOWS BEST

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST: Give your ex's current wife the benefit of the doubt. She may be trying to be helpful. Then, for the sake of your own sanity, simply ignore her comments and continue communicat­ing with your ex in parenting matters.

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