Uncas School students ‘Choose Love’ over conflict
Teachers have adopted curriculum by mother of Sandy Hook victim
Norwich — Teachers and students alike at the Uncas School said lessons on how to “Choose Love” over fear, anger and frustration are paying dividends in classrooms, hallways and on the playground.
The school this year has adopted the curriculum developed by Scarlett Lewis — parent of 6-year-old Jesse Lewis, who was killed in the Sandy Hook school shooting Dec. 14, 2012 — that uses a four-part approach to teaching students how to resolve conflicts peacefully. The program’s motto is: “Courage + Gratitude + Forgiveness + Compassion in Action = Choosing Love.”
Lewis handed out dozens of green rubber bracelets with the slogan and the program’s web address, www. jesselewischooselove.org, during her visit to the school Tuesday along with U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal, D-Conn., to hear directly from students and teachers on how the program is working thus far.
Fifth-graders Matthew Louie, 11, Tacianna Jules, 11, and Takeena Cook, 11, read essays they wrote and also read on Feb. 12, when Uncas School representatives were invit-
Since the death of her son, Lewis has dedicated her life to creating and spreading the Choose Love program as a socialemotional learning curriculum for students in preschool through 12th grade. Thus far, the free program has been downloaded by schools in all 50 states and in 55 countries. An accompanying seven-part video series also is available to parents at no cost.
ed to a program at Quinnipiac University in Hamden.
“If someone is falling down on the ground, choosing love would be helping them get up and asking them if they are all right,” Matthew said.
He said he used the concept in real life one time, when other students were calling one of his friends names. He intervened and asked them to stop. That didn’t work, so he brought it to a teacher, who “took care of the people calling him names.”
Tacianna described an incident a few weeks ago, when she and some friends were “in a big fight.” After some name-calling, the group apologized, sat in a circle and worked it out. Tacianna said the group decided they’re not going to fight because it’s their last two months of school at Uncas before they move on to — possibly different — middle schools.
Takeena told a similar story of sitting in a circle to resolve issues rather than confronting one another. She vowed to use the Choose Love lessons if she encounters a similar situation. Compassion is her favorite category in the program, she said, because it leads to forgiveness.
Second-grade teacher Jodie Stefano said she quietly observed Choose Love in action Monday during recess. She watched two students in a quarrel that could have erupted into a physical confrontation. Instead, the students stopped, talked, apologized and even hugged each other.
With her 23 students sitting in a circle on the classroom rug, she asked for ideas for curbing anger. The answers came swiftly: take a breath, take a walk, get a drink of water.
After observing the two classes, Blumenthal, not joking, said he and his colleagues in Washington, D.C., could use similar lessons.
“We are in desperate need of compassion,” Blumenthal said. “We solve our disputes without physical confrontation, but we need more compassion.”
Kindergarten students Ilianna Canchomesa and Daniel Amaya handed Blumenthal a notebook with a collection of essays and artwork students have done this year in the Choose Love program. He admired a large bulletin board outside the fifth-grade classroom and told his accompanying aide he wants to recreate it at his Washington, D.C., office. The bulletin board said in large print at the center: “Take Action by Showing Compassion!” Surrounding the words were words for each letter of the alphabet.
“U. Understand we all like different things,” one square read.
Since the death of her son, Lewis has dedicated her life to creating and spreading the Choose Love program as a social-emotional learning curriculum for students in preschool through 12th grade. Thus far, the free program has been downloaded by schools in all 50 states and in 55 countries. An accompanying seven-part video series also is available to parents at no cost.
Lewis was the keynote speaker at Norwich Public Schools’ teacher convocation in August, the day before school started. Superintendent Abby Dolliver said Uncas School has adopted the full Choose Love curriculum for all grades, while other schools are using portions of the program in their curriculum.
The program is funded through the Novo Foundation and individual donors, she said.
Lewis said she worked with educators in Connecticut to create the program after doing extensive research that showed social-emotional education was the best way to address students’ anger, frustration, emotional confrontations and problems.
“You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control your response,” Lewis said.