Drunk driver’s wife has dire warn­ing for other spouses

The Day - - DAYBREAK - By Abi­gail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: Many wives write you about problems with their hus­bands who drink too much. If they live in a com­mu­nity prop­erty state, there's some­thing im­por­tant they need to know. If the hus­band drives drunk and causes an in­jury, both the wife and hus­band may be named as co-de­fen­dants — even if the wife wasn't in­volved. And if the in­jured party is suc­cess­ful in the law­suit, the co-de­fen­dants to­gether must pay.

Wives who tol­er­ate their hus­band's re­fusal to stop drink­ing need to be aware of the eco­nomic ham­mer the law could have hang­ing over them. I just went through this ex­pe­ri­ence. Had I known the law in our com­mu­nity prop­erty state would lump me in, I would have had a pow­er­ful rea­son to di­vorce my hus­band years ago af­ter I real­ized he would never give up drink­ing.


DEAR GET­TING: Thank you for teach­ing me and my read­ers some­thing. If some­one has a spouse of EI­THER sex with an al­co­hol prob­lem who gets be­hind the wheel of a car, for their own pro­tec­tion, they should con­sult their lawyer and their in­sur­ance agent about what the ram­i­fi­ca­tions could lead to.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a sopho­more in high school, and I'm in love with a se­nior. I met him a year ago when we had some classes to­gether. We liked each other, but be­cause of our age dif­fer­ence, we never dated.

I thought I would get over him over the sum­mer, but I didn't. We don't see each other at all this year, and I'm al­most sure he's moved on. I feel like I need to move on, too, but deep down I re­ally don't want to. I'm wor­ried I'll never find some­one I like as much as him. Help me get on with my life.


DEAR STUCK: A way to move for­ward would be to give your­self less time to think about him. Stay busy and keep your mind oc­cu­pied with your stud­ies. If you can get into new ac­tiv­i­ties, do it. Not only will they dis­tract you, but they will also give you the op­por­tu­nity to learn some­thing new as well as make more friends and per­haps meet some­one equally spe­cial.

That said, do not ex­pect to banish him com­pletely from your heart. If he was your first love, he may al­ways oc­cupy a tiny por­tion of the real es­tate there.

DEAR ABBY: This has been hap­pen­ing for years, and I would like your ad­vice, please. I like my meat well done. But when­ever I or­der a steak that way, some­one at the ta­ble in­vari­ably has to com­ment that I am ru­in­ing the tex­ture, killing the taste, etc. Red or rare meat dis­gusts me. If I see blood on my plate, I can eat only the well-done parts around the edges. Is there a nice way of telling other peo­ple to mind their own busi­ness and let me or­der my food the way I want it?


DEAR STILL MOV­ING: Sure there is. All you have to do is smile and say, “That's my pref­er­ence. This is the way I like it.” Then chow down and change the sub­ject.

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