Meals by mail, early celebrations and socially distant table settings

Thanksgiving 2020 forces families to get creative

“It’s sad that we can’t just be together for the holiday, but we’d prefer to play it conservative and not put anybody at risk this year so we can pick it up and do it normally next year.”

DALE GREEN OF WATERFORD

Fran Bonardi usually lets out all the leaves of her dining room table to fit as many members of her 50-person family as possible.

But this Thanksgiving, she is letting out the leaves for a different reason — to keep her 97- year- old mother 6 feet away from the rest of the family during a dinner for not 50, but five.

Her mother, Palma Sainsbury, has 11 children, 26 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren. In a typical year, she spends the holidays surrounded by her many descendants, juggling little ones and catching up with her children and their spouses. But this year, she'll sit 6 feet away from just three of her daughters and one of her sons-in-law — all wearing masks — for an unusually quiet

Thanksgiving dinner.

“This year, everyone is doing a small dinner in their own homes,” said Bonardi of her extensive family, whose members aren't gathering under one roof because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

She and her husband will host her mom and two of her sisters, and “all the leaves of the table will be in so we are together, but distanced as we give thanks for remaining healthy in this decidedly different environment.”

Bonardi will be cooking all the family's usual favorites but said she'll be missing her daughter-inlaw's famous corn pudding and traditions like their annual poker game, which alone requires three to four tables to accommodate the family after dinner. Instead, smaller clusters of the family will gather around their computer screens on Saturday for a Zoom call.

Sainsbury moved to Pawcatuck in 1957 with her husband, who died in 2007, and raised her large family there. She told her daughter that this year is unlike any holiday season she's ever lived through, but she's hopeful that she'll be able to see her family gathered around the table next year. In the meantime, she just wants to stay safe.

In New London, Elizabeth and John Ring celebrated Thanksgiving a week early, though that wasn't originally their plan. The couple, both in their 60s, have been limiting their trips to the grocery store since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. They try to go only once or twice a month, so did their Thanksgiving shopping a bit early. When they got home, they realized their turkey wouldn't fit in the freezer.

“So there we were with a turkey that was thawing in the fridge for a week, thinking, 'This isn't going to make it to Thanksgiving,'” Elizabeth Ring said. “So we just kind of looked at each other and said, ‘Why not?'”

Their kids and grandkids, who all live in Washington, are staying home with their families, and Ring's mother, who they normally cooked for, died this summer.

So, the Rings cooked dinner for two last Thursday and enjoyed a slower pace than usual on the holiday.

In years past, they'd cook lots of sides and desserts, package up a meal to bring to Ring's mom and take phone calls from their kids on the West Coast while trying to cook. This year, they left out some sides, only had one pumpkin pie and cooked at their own speed.

“It was much more relaxed and low key. It didn't matter if the gravy was lumpy or that we didn't have any potatoes,” Ring said. "And, they'll have more time to video chat with their kids and grandkids. Normally on Thanksgiving, because of the three hours time difference, we'd be in the middle of cooking when the kids called. This way, they can call anytime and we won't be rushing around.”

And even a week later, there is plenty of turkey to fill their plates. On Thanksgiving, Ring said they'll dine on leftover-inspired dishes like turkey enchiladas, turkey soup and turkey sandwiches, video chat with their children and maybe visit the Lyman Allyn Art Museum.

Dale and Debby Green of Waterford were still cooking a full Thanksgiving meal, even though their holiday dinner would be much smaller than usual. Dale Green was busy preparing his turkey Wednesday afternoon, while dinner for their kids was already taken care of — the parents had holiday meals mailed to their two sons.

“We are sending our two kids precooked Thanksgiving dinners, so that they don't have to do all the cooking or come home like other years,” Dale Green said. “We will share our meals together via Zoom.”

Their sons, 30-year-old Daniel Green of Southington and his fiancee, and 23- year- old David Green and his girlfriend, who live in Beverly, Mass., received Thanksgiving meals in the mail from Omaha Steaks that their parents ordered weeks in advance.

For 23 years, the family has joined the congregation of their church, St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church in Groton, for a large Thanksgiving meal. This year, they'll instead boot up their computers and join a Zoom call as they gather around three different tables in three different towns.

“We figured since they're both working all the time, why force them to make a meal?

It would be much nicer if we sprung for a nice meal for them,” Dale Green said.

Since the start of the pandemic, the family has been hosting Friday night game nights over Zoom, playing classics like Yahtzee and Scattergories, and will continue their tradition this week.

“It's sad that we can't just be together for the holiday, but we'd prefer to play it conservative and not put anybody at risk this year so we can pick it up and do it normally next year,” Dale Green said.