Nilla Palmer
New Haven — Nilla H. Palmer passed away at home peacefully Dec. 5, 2023, in New Haven, at age 104. She was a longtime resident of Waterford, where she largely raised her four children with her husband Gordon Palmer (deceased in 1989).
Lifelong, Nilla was committed to volunteering and working for civic and social causes such as the DropIn Learning Center, Senior Volunteer Services, Meals on Wheels, Al-Anon and the Democratic Party. As a longtime member of the Second Congregational UCC Church of New London, she had many dear friends and worked diligently on church endeavors, especially the annual bazaar. Nilla worked the polls for many elections in Waterford and challenged everyone to do their part for democracy until her final days. As the middle daughter of five sisters born on a Wisconsin dairy farm, her personality and outlook were shaped heavily by her Midwest upbringing and having lived through the Great Depression. She was proud of her time serving as a “Government Girl’’ in Washington, D.C., working under Francis Perkins at the Department of Labor during World War II.
A creative soul, Nilla wrote poetry and short stories, sewed many of her own clothes, and crocheted rugs even after she lost her vision in her later years. Nilla loved the natural environment, nurturing plants and birds, growing vegetables, and creating a garden wonderland at her Waterford “Fiddlehead” property. She identified birds by their calls after her vision was gone and enjoyed sitting outside even in the weeks before she died. Those who knew
Nilla long-term and those who came to know her just in these last years were amazed by her thoughtful wisdom and continuing engagement with ideas, related to democratic principles, spirituality, universality and love. She devoured books from Library for the Blind, often going through four or five books a week. Her memory and ability to recite and edit poems in her head without vision was astonishing.
Nilla loved and is survived by a large extended family including sons Ric Palmer (Debbie Pudlo), Rodney Palmer (Tracy Blanford and Geoff Palmer), daughter Lawrie Seltzer (George Seltzer); by seven grandchildren; eight great-grandchildren, two great-great-grandchildren; beloved nieces and nephews; and extended family in the U.S. and Canada. Nilla’s family is extremely thankful for the love and support provided by friends, home caregivers and hospice folks who helped shepherd her through her final two years. Nilla truly loved her caregivers. She would welcome people to remember her by doing a good deed, making a donation to a favorite charity and remembering to vote.
A memorial celebration will be held at 1 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 10, at the New Haven Friends Meetinghouse and available by Zoom. For information about the service, leave a message at (203) 468-2398. One of Nilla’s final poems, written at 104, reads: “God is Love Love is caring about each other Each other is everything Everything is birds, beasts, fish, insects, plants, stars, spirit Spirit is creation Creation is the manifestation of God God is love Love is caring about each other.”