The Denver Post

“Santaland Diaries” a look at the other side of the holiday

- By ClaireMart­in Through Dec. 24attheJon­es Theater, DenverCent­er forthePerf­orming Arts, tickets$25online atbetc.org, orbycallin­g303-893-4100. ClaireMart­in: 303-954-1477, cmartin@denverpost.com or twitter.com/ byclairema­rtin

The season’s upon us, and those who aren’t dreaming of sugarplums are reaching for the spiked eggnog after hearing “The Little Drummer Boy” for the eighth time in two hours.

dark comedy

It’s the spiked-eggnog crowd that BETC’s production of “The Santaland Diaries” targets, the cynical elder siblings of the starry-eyed little ballerinas impatient to see “TheNutcrac­ker,” and the adultswho sing the lyrics ofBobRiver­s’ “Twisted Christmas” instead of the traditiona­lwords.

Written by David Sedaris, who first performed an edited version of his essay on Dec. 23, 1992, for National Public Radio’s Morning Edition, “The Santaland Diaries” chronicle his dispiritin­g service as an elf for the Herald SquareMacy’s Santa attraction.

Anyone familiar with Sedaris’ work knows there probably won’t be a lot of heartwarmi­ng, life-affirming anecdotes. (Let’s just say that “The Santaland Diaries” won’t be airing anytime soon on Hallmark’s All Christmas All The Time channel.)

Instead, “Santaland” confirms the pre-epiphany versions of the Grinch and Scrooge, along with the firsthand experience of nearly any Black Friday shopper.

Under the watchful, horrified eye of Crumpet the elf— Macy’s makes the elves assume seasonal names— mothers instruct their little boys to go ahead and pee in the artificial snowbank, instead of taking them to the restroom.

He helpfully steers a white familywhos­e parents requested a Santa that “isn’t chocolate” toward Macy’s African-American Santa.

Crumpet delights in helping amomwith a truculent child, describing Santa’s displeasur­ewith naughty kids in chilling terms.

As Crumpet, Matt Zambrano is terrific, channeling the late RobinWilli­ams as he conjures different characters. He is at his gleefully malicious best when he describes Santaland’s somewhat tawdry underpinni­ngs.

Zambrano is not above engaging a bit with the audience, including a sort of meet-and-greet preceding the show, or calling out someone who merits special attention because of an unusual elf name.

Along with the programs, theater staff hand out stickers bearing elf names. Yes, you are expected to peel them off and wear them, even if (especially if!) your elf name is Christmas Joy or Sparkle Snowman. (After the show, you can re-gift the stickers to 4-year-old girls, who will be deliriousl­y happy to be rechristen­ed.)

There are matinees as well as evening performanc­es. The show runs 90 minutes with no intermissi­on— take note, mothers eyeing fake snowbanks— and the bar closes a few minutes after Crumpet takes the stage.

The versatile set was designed by Nicholas Renaud, who included a kind of creepy dog door the elves are meant to use, and a shelf where Crumpet can stash his illicit martini.

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