No need for restroom ruckus

hen I was in first or second grade, someone dared me to enter the boy’s bathroom at school. I went in and looked around. I wasn’t sure what the urinals were, but other than that, it seemed pretty similar to the girl’s room. The teacher came in and got me. “Did you get mixed up?” she said. I’ve been causing a ruckus in restrooms my whole life, so when North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory signed House Bill 2 into law earlier this year, I was concerned, but not altogether shocked.

What shocked me was a video on Facebook showing a masculine-looking woman being kicked out of a public restroom by a police officer. My immediate thought was, “That could be me.”

Since the law passed, I’ve read several stories about incidents involving women who were harassed while using the ladies’ room, just because they did not look feminine enough.

I am not transgender, and I don’t pretend to speak for transgender people. I am gender-queer, which means I don’t follow the traditional gender norms society has created for women. At work, I wear a dress shirt and tie. When I’m hanging out, I prefer men’s jeans and a T-shirt. I keep my hair quite short. I enjoy wearing baseball caps. Because of this, I am often mistaken for a man. This has been happening for most of my life.

When I was young, I was bullied because I looked like a boy.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” someone would shout. “I’m a girl.” “Take down your pants and prove it.” This was not only embarrassing, it also reinforced my own misconception that I wasn’t a “real” girl. Many people did not accept me because they didn’t understand me. It’s like this for a lot of people.

We are gendered from the moment we’re born. What’s the first question everyone always asks when they hear about a new baby? “Is it a boy or a girl?” We enter the gender binary at birth. And woe to those who rock the gender boat.

When I was in graduate school, I had a crew cut, and this tended to make people uncomfortable. Women often looked askance at me when I entered the ladies’ room. To this day, I feel out of place in the women’s restroom. I still get looks from strangers who aren’t quite sure what to make of me.

I’m waiting for the day when one of them calls the police.

When I enter the restroom, I stand a little straighter so that my breasts appear more prominent. I raise my voice an octave when I say hello. I hum a little tune to distract me from the stress.

Since the North Carolina law passed, I’ve become more wary of using public restrooms. It shouldn’t be this way. A person should not have to dress a certain way or wear her hair a certain way to be accepted as a woman.

So if you’re using the facilities and see someone who doesn’t quite fit the stereotype of a feminine woman, don’t panic. It’s not a man out to look at you while you’re peeing. It’s probably just a gal like me who needs to answer nature’s call. There’s no need to call security. Just do your business and get on with your day.

Many of us who don’t conform to the gender binary are already uneasy using public restrooms. We don’t need bathroom

police making it worse.

Lynn Klyde-Silverstein teaches journalism at the University of Northern Colorado.