Comedy a touchy thing to tackle
Von Miller, an NFL quarterback’s worst nightmare, delivers sacks with a smile.
What in the name of Dick Butkus is going on here? Aren’t intimidating defenders supposed to eat glass and be as prickly as a rusty barbed wire?
Miller is intense. But not so intense he’s blind to the fact that football is a brotherhood. And brothers take care of one another.
“As a player, you’ve got to be able to flip it on and off. During the game, when the ball is snapped, I’m intense. But right after, I can joke and dance,” Miller told me, walking briskly past the locker room, so not to be late for a meeting in preparation for the AFC West showdown against the Oakland Raiders.
Miller breaks the mold of the mean and nasty defensive star. He dances with stars. During a new Old Spice commercial, when his toughness is questioned, the Vonster replies, “Coach, I’m delicate.”
After Dallas receiver Noah Brown recently cut down Miller with a cheap shot to the linebacker’s left knee, the victim responded philosophically instead of angrily. “I’ve always tried to take care of my players on my football team and opponents as well, whether it’s the quarterbacks, receivers or running backs,” Miller said. “When it’s the other way around, it’s just baffling.”
Heck, during Denver’s recent loss in Buffalo, when a video of a costly unsportsmanlike conduct penalty was replayed in the press box, an entire room of curmudgeons erupted in laughter as Miller pulled his hand away with a classic too-slow prank on Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor.
An NFL linebacker with a sense of humor and humanity?
Do not adjust your set. That’s just Von being Von. Like most innovators, Miller is so far ahead of the curve that the rest of the world must play catch-up. He is Dave Chappelle in shoulder pads. As Chappelle once said, “Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.” And that’s why Miller got penalized 15 yards in Buffalo. Referee Carl Cheffers didn’t get the joke.
“It’s all in good fun, man,” Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe said. “The whole world is so sensitive that it makes me want to throw up.”
Hey, I get why Broncomaniacs were mad at Cheffers. But a comedian has to know his audience before taking the stage, or even the best joke bombs. “Story of my life,” said Miller, taking full blame for the penalty. “I can only learn from it and just keep moving.”
In an era when brain damage is on the mind of every thinking person who cares about the future health of football, President Donald Trump has declared attempts to curb excessive violence are bad. “Today if you hit too hard — 15 yards! Throw him out of the game,” Trump said, during the same speech in Alabama that ignited a firestorm over anthem protests. “They’re ruining the game.”
Football has gone soft? The president’s rant disturbed Broncos president Joe Ellis. “I don’t think anyone can speak to what (Trump) was thinking when he said that,” Ellis told me after Denver’s 26-16 loss in Buffalo. “Commissioner (Roger) Goodell and everybody in the league have put player safety at the front of their list of issues and concerns that need to be addressed.”
The NFL now must answer to both widows of old pros and fathers of peewee players if the scariest words in the sport’s lexicon, chronic traumatic encephalopathy, are potentially fatal to football’s standing as America’s favorite sporting pastime.
For all his silly pranks, here’s where Miller’s approach to the game just might make a serious difference. He sent a bottle of wine last Christmas to every player on every team in the AFC West. Yes, even to the hated Raiders. That’s respect.
Miller treats football as a fraternity, instead of a clash of gladiators, as was romanticized back in the days of Butkus, with big, nasty hits saluted in the big, booming voice of John Facenda.
“It’s a brotherhood on the field,” Miller said, “You’re out there, trying to take care of guys, whether it’s trying to help a teammate develop, or making sure a player doesn’t get hurt.”
Remember when intimidating defenders were given nicknames like “Mean Joe” Greene? Miller starts every conversation with the same friendly greeting: “Howdy.”
Welcome to the new face of the NFL. Miller is changing the way a fierce passrusher goes about his business.
This is Vonster Inc. Delivering sacks with a smile.