“It’s OK to be gay”: Standley Lake, other schools embrace gender-neutral homecoming
Standley Lake High School seniors Mya Sanchez, 17, and Elena Martinez, 17, hugged on the football field at the North Area Athletic Complex in Arvada on a chilly October night as they were introduced as their class’ homecoming royalty, a first for the school that traditionally has picked male and female representatives.
The moment eased two semesters of tension for the girls, who have been out as a couple for about a year. Since then, they have been teased and stared at as they held hands in the hallways of their high school in Westminster.
On this night, though, they found acceptance.
“It honestly made me feel a little bit more confident about being gay,” Martinez said. “No one really tells us, ‘Oh, you guys are a cute couple’ and stuff like that.”
Sanchez added: “One person said, like, ‘Why would you choose that way over being straight?’ We’ve had all the hate, and then to come back and overpower it is pretty cool.”
This year, at least five other Jefferson County high schools joined a growing, national trend of holding gender-neutral homecomings, school administrators said. That means students can elect same-sex couples or transgender classmates to represent their classes during the ceremony.
While gender-neutral homecomings and proms remain rare, it’s not the first time a Colorado high school elected someone outside the traditional male and female homecoming roles. In 2014, Sand Creek High School in Colorado Springs elected a transgender girl as homecoming princess.
Advocates say the high school students are paving the way for more inclusion of LGBTQ youths.
“These contests are dated, and the youth of today are leading this change,” said Mardi Moore, executive director of the LGBTQ advocacy group Out Boulder.
Given the statistics on LGBTQ youths and mental health, acceptance from peers could go a long way.
The 2017 Healthy Kids Colorado survey found that 41.5% of the 8,400 lesbian, gay and bisexual youths and 62.3% of transgender youths reported being bullied. Within that community, 19.9% of lesbian, gay and bisexual students and 32.5% of transgender students seriously contemplated suicide.
“Want to fix that problem? One of the solutions is not trying to fit our kids into a box,” Moore said.
This fall, Standley Lake held a student referendum on whether same-sex couples and transgender students could be elected to the homecoming court. Just over 50% of freshmen, sophomores and juniors voted in favor. The seniors, though, were so overwhelmingly supportive, student council members holding the referendum stopped counting, said student council president Abbey Salamera, 17.
“I thought it was a good chance to support the LGBTQ community at our school,” said Sarah Vang, a 17-year-old senior who voted for Sanchez and Martinez. “We’re a really diverse school with diverse students. It’s important that we include other populations in these activities.”
That support came in the form of a huddled mass of students at the football game showering Sanchez and Martinez with cheers after they were announced as the winners.
“My mom was really happy for us and my dad couldn’t be there, so I asked my grandpa to come,” Martinez said. “I still don’t know how he feels about it, but he congratulated us and told us that he loved us and was happy for us.”
Coming out was easier for Sanchez. She has bisexual and gay family members, which eased the process, she said.
Martinez has been embraced by her family, though she said that she’s still unsure how her grandfather feels about her sexuality.
Ten days after the big night, each one sat in the office of assistant principal Molly Jordan to talk about the honor and what it meant to them.
When asked about each other, they blushed, like many other high school students in love. They dressed similarly — stylish blue jeans and Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirts. And they both play basketball.
Martinez is a “tweener,” playing the guard and forward positions. Sanchez, meanwhile, takes pride in her 3-point shooting.
When Martinez and Sanchez came out, rifts were made in their social circles. Because of that, the two mainly keep to themselves.
“We don’t talk to, like, a lot of people only because when we both came out, we lost a lot of friends,” Martinez said.
The homecoming honor brought affirmation.
“I didn’t know so many people were going to vote for us and that they were going to be so happy for us,” she said.
Martinez and Sanchez hope other LGBTQ students are watching, listening and learning from Standley Lake. The two want others to know there is hope. Whether it be a student mocking them because of who they’re attracted to or an older family member struggling to accept them, all that matters is that they love themselves.
“It’s OK to be nervous and to be scared of how people are going to think, but it doesn’t really matter what people think,” Martinez said. “It’s OK to be gay. Just be who you are.”