Can we find light in the reflection of a dark 2020
Two years ago I started a Christmas letter that I never finished ( more normal than not). I took a philosophical approach, talking about the lack of connection, community and time in a world that doesn’t know how to slow down.
From a random Facebook post I had found Brigit Anna McNeill’s words about the winter solstice: “… this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close … like nature and the animal kingdom around us, this time of hibernation is so necessary for our tired limbs, our burdened minds.”
How prophetic, huh? Who knew that about 15 months later we’d head blindly into a year ( at least) of hibernation. If only we could hibernate as animals do, without fear of losing shelter, mental and physical sustenance and community.
In mid- March, I wrote a couple of columns as the severe nature of the pandemic emerged. One was about being kind and caring as we faced uncertainties about the virus: how long we would be impacted and what we should do. It carried the headline, “Remember, we’re all in this together,” which was the intent although I didn’t use those words. Now I’m annoyed by those words because truly we’re not. And apparently, we don’t want to be.
My favored expression now is “we’re all in the same storm” because that is true. We just each have different resources
— from few to whatever money can buy — to weather that storm.
The second column was about building resilience to survive in uncharted waters with no endgame in sight. I wish I’d taken my own advice consistently, instead of allowing those days of despair and depression to creep in.
Still, I’ve got plenty of time to practice as that mystical “return to normal” seems elusive.
We are facing weeks and months of vaccine debate — which one is best, who should get it first, is it safe, will there be enough, how long does it last, how many will refuse to take it at all — while the medical community contends heroically with our inability to play by the rules of a pandemic.
Case numbers and hospitalizations in Colorado have trended up since October, rising above the springtime numbers. Hospitalizations fell slightly last week, but health officials fear a significant rise in the positivity rate means they are likely rise again.
In April, I wrote about the first 100 days of the coronavirus, showing how daily distractions kept us from focusing on the increasingly significant threat. I thought I might revisit that at 200 days and 300 days, but all those days began to smear into the whole “it’s 2020” miasma and we now are approaching the one- year point.
As the winter solstice nears, I again came across McNeill’s words and I thought, can I unburden my mind of everything this year has wrought and see some sort of awakening that might come, slowly for sure, in the new year? ( You may take that question as comic relief.)
Always in December we look back at the year winding down and survey those achievements and failures, joys and sorrows, triumphs and disappointments. But this year?
It wasn’t just the pandemic, although that overshadowed everything and made bare inequalities in health care, education and housing. It was bitter politics, existential threats to our democracy, nationwide rage in the wake of George Floyd’s death, a record number of hurricanes, devastating wildfires, and one of the hottest years on record ( including the hottest temperature recorded when it hit 130 degrees Aug. 16 in Death Valley, California).
Seeking perspective and a way forward on any one of those things is a monumental task, but they are very much entwined. We will, no doubt, argue about potential solutions — and in too many cases even whether a problem exists ( let’s just get the economy rolling and we’ll be back to normal).
We may indeed be too weary to do anything but rip up the old calendar and hang the new with a shred of hope for better days.
But as daylight once again begins to lengthen in the new year we must not let a rush to “return to normal” cause us to forget what we learned in the darkness.
Sue McMillin is a long- time Colorado reporter and editor who worked for The Gazette and Durango Herald. Now a regular columnist for The Denver Post and a freelance writer, she lives in Cañon City. Email her at suemcmillin20@ gmail. com.