“Hitman’s” largely wastes its talented stars
Director Patrick
Hughes and writer Tom O’connor apparently are determined to stick with the formula they established with the modest hit “The Hitman’s Bodyguard.”
That’s not a good thing. Like that 2017 four-letter-word-packed actioncomedy, its theaterbound sequel, “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard,” largely squanders its notable on-screen talent with a romp that is, at best, a mildly pleasant diversion.
If Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas AND Morgan Freeman can’t save your movie, perhaps nobody can.
As the story of Reynolds’ Michael Bryce picks back up, the once-celebrated bodyguard continues to be a shell of his former self after having become entwined with Jackson’s Darius Kincaid, a renowned hitman.
Having taken a bullet for Darius in the first adventure, Michael also carries mental scars. No longer Aaa-rated, he tells his therapist about a recurring dream in which, as he’s accepting the Bodyguard of the Year Award, he’s taunted by several versions of Darius at the ceremony.
She suggests that now would be a great time to take his dream vacation and a sabbatical from work. Although he barely can utter the words “no bodyguarding,” Michael “graduates” from therapy and heads to the Italian island of Capri (“like the pants”).
While mellowing out by a pool and wearing noisecanceling headphones, he is slow to realize his picturesque and therapeutic setting is being torn to shreds by gunfire thanks to the sudden presence of Darius’ new wife, Sonia (Hayek), an international con artist. She tells Michael her husband is in trouble and that Darius instructed her to recruit him to help. Even though he possesses no guns — only his trusty penknife — he soon finds himself wrapped up in a new deadly affair.
Soon, the testy trio is together — and being coerced by a frustrated American working for Interpol, Bobby O’neill (Frank Grillo), to help European governments stop a mad man. A powerful Greek tycoon with a name to match, Aristotle Papadopoulos (Banderas) intends to take aggressively from the rest of Europe and give to his struggling country without concern for the countries and people he hurts in the process.
As the “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” rolls along, the bullets and bad words continue to fly, and Michael is unable to shield himself from the passion Darius and Sonia continue to have for each other and express from time to time — even while she’s driving a car.
It’s not all bliss for the newlyweds, however, as they may be keeping secrets from each other. Michael, meanwhile, is leaving sad voicemails for his future self and in decided need of getting his groove back.
“The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” — with brothers Phillip and Brandon Murphy contributing to the script along with O’connor (“The Courier”) — has some fun ideas, from the surprising character portrayed by Freeman to the motherly instincts Sonia inflicts upon Michael. However, those ideas lead to too few laughs, right down to a gag just before the closing credits begin to roll that isn’t nearly as funny as it should be.
Much of this can be pinned on Hughes (“The Expendables 3”), who rarely gets the most from a moment. You can’t help but wonder what another director may have done with this cast.
Again, the talent is there. Reynolds (“Deadpool”) and Jackson (“Pulp Fiction”) obviously have the gifts to make moments land better than they do here. And they’re probably responsible for this romp being relatively entertaining from time to time.
Hayek (“Frida”) is a fine addition to the already established mix, and the scenes she shares with Banderas (“Pain & Glory”) — a regular bigscreen partner for her dating back to 1995’s “Desperado” — are reasonably enjoyable.
Lionsgate chose to delay the film last year due to the novel coronavirus pandemic instead of releasing it via on-demand platforms or selling it to a streaming platform. It’s not exactly worth the wait.