Is Kristen Stewart the queen of Sundance this year?
Ever since Parker Posey was dubbed the queen of Sundance in the late ‘90s, festival-watchers have been eager to pass that title on each year to whichever actress proves most ubiquitous.
This year, the tiara goes to Kristen Stewart, who I expect would wear it with Chanel and Converse. The 33-year- old actress stars in two of the fest’s most discussed movies: “Love Me,” a postapocalyptic story about a buoy that falls in love with a satellite, and “Love Lies Bleeding,” an ultraviolent thriller that casts her as a gym employee engaged in a dangerous affair with an ambitious bodybuilder (Katy O’brian).
Aside from the fact that these two love stories feature Stewart in her go-for-broke, just-have-fun-withit era, “Love Me” and “Love Lies Bleeding” couldn’t have less in common, which makes them a delightfully whiplash-inducing demonstration of what Stewart is capable of. Here are some of the things I’ve watched her do over the past few days, whether on-screen or off:
• Inject a love interest’s rear end with steroids, as foreplay
• Cheerily extol the virtues of Blue Apron quesadillas
• Dispose of corpses (multiple times)
• Sing the theme song to “Friends” (multiple times)
• Catfish Steven Yeun
• Sink to the bottom of the ocean for fear of being rejected
• Page through the book “Macho Sluts”
• Choose her Sim avatar
• Digressively describe “Love Me” at a post-premiere Q& A as “such a cool way into all of our stories. Like, it could be a relationship movie but also selflove, but not in the way that word … just make new words for that. When you’re like ‘ no’ or you’re like, ‘ hey, I identified a thing and I think I enjoy that,’ but then, like, seconds later it’s a different thing and you don’t have to feel bad about that or feel like, ‘ Ooh, I didn’t know myself, maybe I’m different.’ Like, no. It’s like” — she snapped twice — “yeah. And now I’m, like, trying to be with a person? Yeah. It’s like this is the most honest relationship movie slash people movie.”
• Realize she has just ser ved an endear ing amount of word salad and then mutter, “Wow. Wow. That was really … thank God I’m here!”