Thoughts with Tim: The sound that wouldn’t stop

With everything going on in our world right now, I thought I would use today’s article to tell you a funny story. There are no life and death issues here, no moral questions to be asked and no commentary needed. I just want to share with you a funny story that I hope puts a smile on your face.

Last night, I got home around 8:45 p.m. I did a few dishes and went through my normal routine of getting ready for bed. It was a cool, beautiful evening so I had the windows open in my house. All of the sudden, there was a noise outside so loud I thought a car had pulled into my backyard. I went outside to investigate and no lie, the buzzing in my backyard sounded like a plane engine. I walked around trying to find what was making the sound because it was the loudest buzzing I had ever heard. I was wondering if the electric line to my house was making it.

There was no car in my backyard, and there was no sparking coming from any of the electric wires, so I went back in the house. About 10 minutes later, the buzzing stopped. It was a relief because it was almost deafeningly quiet in my house. I didn’t smell any smoke and I still had power, so I continued getting ready for bed.

I went upstairs, put my fan in the window, turned on the sound machine, and my head hit the pillow right at 10 p.m. I wasn’t half of a page into reading my book when the buzzing came back. This time it seemed louder, drowning out the fan and the sound machine. It was like the buzzing was drilling right into my head. I tried to convince myself I could ignore it but that was not working. I went back downstairs and went through the house trying to find what it was. I figured out it was not coming from inside my house, so I went back outside to the backyard where it sounded like a plane engine was running. I walked over to the neighbors’ house to listen and make sure everything was OK, but the sound was definitely coming from my yard.

I walked all over my backyard. The buzz was deafening. I considered calling the police, but I wasn’t sure what to tell them. I walked around trying to figure out where exactly the buzz was coming from. It was loudest right next to a tree in my back yard. When I shined a light up the tree there was nothing I could see, but as I walked round and round the tree, it was definitely coming from there. By this point, it was well after 10 p.m., and that very special anger you feel when you want to sleep and something won’t let you was starting to set in.

So I shook the tree really hard and the buzzing stopped. I went back inside, got my shoes off and the buzzing started again. At this point, I lost my mind. I didn’t bother with the shoes, I went directly to my garage, grabbed the leaf blower, and went after that tree with a vengeance. Most of the leaves that were left on the tree, I blew off. I took four laps around the tree blasting it with the leaf blower. Keep in mind, it was almost 10:30 p.m. by this point.

When I shut the leaf blower off, I stood there for just a moment staring at the tree as the motor of the leaf blower shut down and all I heard was blessed silence. Taking no chances, I turned the leaf blower back on and blasted the tree for a couple more rounds. Then I turned it back off and waited. The silence was glorious. After 5 minutes, no buzz. Whatever it was, I blew it out of the tree. I have to admit, I felt pretty proud of myself.

Now I don’t want you to think that I am some soft city kid. I grew up in the country. I am used to the chirps and buzzing of the country, but in my 46 years, I had never heard anything as loud as that. It must have been right next to my bedroom window. To my neighbors who I am sure were wondering whether or not I understood how a leaf blower worked, yes I know that you usually let the leaves fall off the tree before you blow them.

And FYI, if the buzz comes back tonight, I am going directly for the pressure washer.