TROUBLE AFOOT

On a cold night last winter, my wife was using the microwave. I heard the timer ding and then a loud “Oh, shoot!” Since her feet were cold, she had decided to warm up her slippers in the microwave. Sadly, she cooked them on high for three minutes. What came out looked like a scene from “The Blob.” Not only had her slippers been nuked, but every time we used the microwave after that, the food came out tasting like burnt slippers. It was a tough call, but I threw out the microwave and kept the wife.