Concerns about COVID dominates relationship

Dear Amy: I recently had a conversation with a friend that I am still ruminating about. She shared how she used a loophole to get a COVID vaccination that she really wasn’t entitled to receive. It was as if I should be impressed with how creative and smart she was to game the system.

She then went on to describe how she will now be comfor table eating in restaurants, etc. I said I was happy for her and changed the subject so I could take time to process this. Our family is tr ying to stay patient and wait our turn. Thoughts?

— Waiting

Dear Waiting: There are stories of people standing in line outside vaccination centers to tr y to receive shots that would other wise be thrown away if they weren’t used. I’m all for that kind of enterprise.

However, if your friend leapt through a loophole to snag an appointment before her turn, that’s completely unethical. I have read accounts of how some people have used their connections, money, and privilege to game the system.

Ask yourself, when do we learn important truths about people? During times like these. Your friend is showing you who she is: She is someone who would jump the line in order to eat out at a restaurant a few weeks earlier than if she had waited her turn. And she is bragging about it.

A note of caution: Although COVID numbers are currently falling, as of this writing the CDC has stated that the reduction in infection numbers is likely due to vigilant mask wearing and social distancing during the lengthy vaccination rollout. Your friend — and others who have been vaccinated — should continue to be cautious.

Dear Amy: I have acquaintances from elementar y and high school who have organized monthly Zoom meetings to connect. We discuss politics, books, travel, and personal news. While I sometimes enjoy these calls, I feel pressured to attend. I am not friends with and don’t even remember some of these schoolmates and have nothing in common.

I’m not antisocial and sometimes enjoy reminiscing, but most of the time I get irritated with everyone talking over each other.

And, invariably, there will be a couple of individuals who monopolize the chaotic discussions. How can I politely decline these invitations? I don’t mind attending some, but do not like the pressure to always be there. After a full day working from home, I’d like to relax.

— Zoomed Out

Dear Zoomed Out: When you receive an “invitation” to a Zoom meeting, it usually comes in the form of a mass email. You either “accept” by joining the Zoom call, or you “decline” by simply not joining. A social Zoom invite sent to dozens of people does not require any advance RSVP.

You could join and

“mute” your video and audio and listen in while you did household chores, or you could simply ignore the invitation email and live your life, the way you did before Zoom entered our lives, which I realize was less than a year ago.

What a long strange year it has been.