DEAR AMY: I am a 57year-old man dating a 49-year-old woman. We’ve been together for over a year. She is beautiful, smart, sexy, and fun. However, she never puts her phone down.
No matter what we are doing or where we are, she is texting with her teenage children, no matter how serious or inconsequential the issue is.
She will sit in a dark movie theater and text her son about where his shoes are, or answer questions that could definitely wait.
She says she has three kids and has to be available to them always.
To make it even more complicated, she plays online games and thinks nothing of whipping out her phone in a nice restaurant as I sit there humiliated while waitresses look at me with pity.
She says I am old-fash- ioned and that this is normal behavior. Is it?
DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: Let’s grant your gal her obsession with her kids’ shoes. If she is an involved mom then I’d say she should get a pass to communicate with them, although she seems to do so to a ridiculous degree. (But no texting in the movie theater, Mom!)
Now, why is she playing Candy Crush at dinner? Do you confront her about her intolerable rudeness? And if not – why not?
You are a fellow adult. You have feelings. You don’t like being ignored, discounted and then told that your feelings are less important than her game.
Frankly, she doesn’t seem that into you.
I hope that ultimately you will choose to be with someone who makes you feel wanted, important and worth it. DEAR AMY: This seems petty, but every afternoon I go to my public library to pick out books, do a little work and enjoy the atmosphere. This library is lovely and historic
Lately there is a group of children who come to the library after school and are given access to a (monitored) computer, and they play a game that has verbal prompts and various noises.
Amy, it is like nails on a blackboard. Is there anything I can do?
DEAR LOVER: Libraries are changing to be more like community centers.
Ask your librarian if there are designated quiet times or quiet spaces where silence will rule, and bring along some noise-canceling headphones to wear.