The Fresno Bee (Sunday) - - Sports - BY DAVID WHITE Spe­cial to The Bee David White: [email protected]­global.net, @by­david­white

“Your in id­iot.” – Scott in Mill Val­ley.

“Stupid.” – Too Coura­geous to Leave a Le­gal Name.

“Your the most hated dude on the Bark Board.” – Larry in Clo­vis.

My email re­sponse, other than what’s a bark board?

“Ain’t that the truth.” See how easy that was? Get served a gram­mar­resis­tant in­sult, swal­low the de­sire to type back “you’re,” and tell them to have a nice life while re­fus­ing to let them af­fect yours.

Oak­land Raiders mar­tial artist Derek Carr, if you’re read­ing … well, why are you still read­ing this stuff? Don’t you have weeds to pull or chil­dren to make find the re­mote for you? Are you look­ing for an atta-boy af­ter a 4-12 tour of duty?

Do you think your brother David sits there at night pour­ing over the Hous­ton Chron­i­cle archives and writes an­gry emails to the ed­i­tor? We cov­ered him dur­ing the in­glo­ri­ous fin­ish with Mike Sin­gle­tary in San Fran­cisco, and not once did he chal­lenge Ray Ratto to meet him in an al­ley af­ter school.

Did you re­ally have to go on Twit­ter, the Land of Ci­vil­ity’s End, and chal­lenge a cou­ple me­dia flamethrow­ers to a fist­fight? Be­cause they ques­tioned your want to and can do?

Sticks and stones, brother. Just be­cause you’re an Oak­land Raider doesn’t mean you have to act like an Oak­land Raider.

We’re both born-again Chris­tians here (shock­ing on my end, no doubt). We’re called to fight the good fight.

This isn’t a good fight. Good fights don’t hap­pen in the Oc­tagon. They don’t go down on so­cial me­dia in front of 414,000 fol­low­ers.

You know this now. Work­ing on the Fruit of the Spirit, as you tweeted, is a great new hobby, be­cause putting up your dukes against paid opin­ions is go­ing to drive you nuts.

You called them clowns? The rest of my peers, from here to Pro Foot­ball Talk, are go­ing to clown you back by mob. Quar­ter­backs with 10 wins in two years lose their “Oh yeah?” priv­i­leges, be­cause they just do.

You pub­licly asked UFC Over­lord Dana White how to get said clowns in a cage fight? Peo­ple bring up the “Fol­lower of Christ” chunk of your Twit­ter han­dle, and throw all of us in with the blood­mad Cru­saders.

Google the name Dana White. I just did, three days af­ter the fact. Guess the first thing that popped up?

“Derek Carr Asks UFC’s Dana White for Fight with Stephen A. Smith and Max Keller­man.” – Bleacher Re­port.

You can’t let them draw you into this troll fac­tory. You’re up to your cheek bones in there and will never have the boots for this.

“You call your­self a pas­tor?” – Name­less in Boise.

Yeah, I get body slammed, too. Step into the pub­lic square, and all the world will square up against you when they don’t like what they see.

We’re not down on you. You’re a Friend of the Pro­gram. We want you to learn from this, be­cause you’re go­ing to play more foot­ball and lose more games and get more bac­te­ria-laced venom in your Di­rect Mes­sage box.

I so want to re­spond like you did, and tell peo­ple their clown shoes are un­tied, or that a trav­el­ing cir­cus in Ser­bia misses them. But then I’d be like them, and who wants a life of squirt­ing wa­ter from a tie?

When War­ren Sapp spit his chew at my shoes, or when Al Davis cussed my name in front of a locker room, or when Randy Moss Randy Moss’d me af­ter a game … there was no re­course, and there was no come­back.

That’s how the game works. You can never win, but you’ll never lose if you refuse to play.

Let Stephen A. be Stephen A. Stick to be­ing Derek Carr, be­cause we like that guy way bet­ter, any­ways.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.