The sports world turns into a wild roller-coaster ride

The Fresno Bee (Sunday) - - Sports - BY DAVID WHITE David White is a former Fresno Bee staff writer and NFL beat writer at the San Fran­cisco Chronicle, now a pas­tor and Sun­day sports colum­nist for The Bee: [email protected]­global.net, @by­david­white

Your Los An­ge­les Dodgers gave Gi­ants short­timer Bruce Bochy gifts and po­lite ap­plause the other night at Chavez Ravine.

Did that sen­tence not make your eyes throw up? The end of civ­i­liza­tion is upon us.

Be­fore our car­bon­based of a plan­e­tary time­share dis­in­te­grates any fur­ther, let’s take a quick whirl around the world of sports.

THAT’S SO RAIDER

An­to­nio Brown is the Raider-iest Raider in the his­tory of Raider-dom. With­out ever, you know, be­ing a Raider.

Our friends at Eye Patch Inc. re­leased Brown on Satur­day morn­ing, after he asked for his re­lease on Instagram on Fri­day night, after he posted a pri­vate phone con­ver­sa­tion with the head coach on Fri­day af­ter­noon, after he tear­fully said sorry to the team Fri­day morn­ing, after he “al­legedly” called the gen­eral man­ager a cracker on Wednesday, after he de­fied the com­mis­sioner’s hel­met laws for an en­tire train­ing camp, after he blamed Europe for feet burn.

Never thought you could miss a Raider who never, you know, played a snap for the Raiders.

Ex­tra point: Stunned the Raiders didn’t just trade Brown to the Pa­tri­ots for a sev­enth-round pick. That, my friends, would have been the Raider-iest Raider move.

BOISE BOUNCE

Boise State got the jump on Fresno State foot­ball, as al­ways, into the Top 25. Chase down that pride with a nice hand clap for your wor­thy ad­ver­sary, would you?

There wasn’t a Top 25 team on Fresno State’s sched­ule when this party be­gan. The Bron­cos showed up at No. 24 after one week. This is a good thing, if you can be both­ered by the big pic­ture.

You want your Bull­dogs to fin­ish where they fin­ished last year? Hope Boise State is ranked when they in­evitably play later this year (it can only come in the Moun­tain West cham­pi­onship game), be­cause those are the qual­ity wins that dream sea­sons are made of.

Or, maybe you’d pre­fer a 10-win season against no one in par­tic­u­lar.

DUKE IS DUKE

So, Duke in­ves­ti­gated Duke to see if Duke broke any NCAA rules when Zion Wil­liamson was play­ing bas­ket­ball at Duke.

Stun­ningly enough, Duke de­cided Duke did no wrong.

May we all get to in­ves­ti­gate our­selves and ren­der our own ver­dicts.

USC HOT SEAT

Tell me again how Fresno State lost to USC last week? Be­cause that is the worst-coached Tro­jans team we’ve seen since Lane M. Kif­fin was get­ting fired at Ter­mi­nal 1.

Clay Hel­ton may be the first coach who needed to get fired after a sea­sonopen­ing win. His play call­ing and clock man­age­ment was that puke­based.

STRAIGHT TALK

Fresno State president Joseph Cas­tro had no com­ment for a re­cent Bee story on the Bulldog Sta­dium Ren­o­va­tion That Never Was.

Good for him. The ath­letic di­rect­ing should be left to the ath­letic di­rec­tor. Terry Tumey is a grown man who can an­swer for his own de­part­ment.

Besides, we liked his an­swers just fine. Tumey made no ex­cuses for the sorry state of Bulldog Sta­dium – can’t wait for Caulk­ing Give­away Day, so we can fill the concrete cracks on our own! He didn’t waste our time with empty prom­ises he can’t pos­si­bly keep.

Care­ful, Tumey. You’re in great dan­ger of be­ing a like­able guy.

Ex­tra point: Fresno State is what it is. Wrap your arms around it and let the am­biance hug you back.

YAZ, SIR!

We love this Mike Yas­trzem­ski rookie as much as the next Gi­ants fan, but how this kid isn’t play­ing for the Bos­ton Red Sox, we’ll never know.

Such as it is, may the Grand­son of Yaz wave home runs into the fair side of McCovey Cove for the next 10 years.

MARK J. TERRILL AP

Clay Hel­ton’s play call­ing and clock man­age­ment was so bad in the open­ing game against Fresno State, he may be the first coach who needed to get fired after a season-open­ing win.

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