LET­TERS TO THE ED­I­TOR

The Fresno Bee - - Opinion -

Ironies in the law con­found him

You can choose to have a doc­tor kill and dis­mem­ber your daugh­ter in the womb if you do not want her to be born. But if you choose to let her live and spank her for bad be­hav­ior, you will be ar­rested for cru­elty.

We have lost our con­science. God have mercy.

– Marvin Friesen, Fresno Cor­rect dis­ci­pline teaches a child

As­sem­bly­man Joaquin Aram­bula has been ar­rested for mis­de­meanor child abuse for spank­ing his 7-year-old daugh­ter on her bot­tom (Dec. 13). He stated that he did it to dis­ci­pline her as a last re­sort, which he does in his home per­haps once a year.

Based on our ex­pe­ri­ence with our three chil­dren, who are now pro­fes­sion­als and par­ents them­selves, Mr. Aram­bula made two mis­takes. I am not crit­i­ciz­ing his use of spank­ing, be­cause spank­ing has been used suc­cess­fully for cen­turies to teach dis­ci­pline to chil­dren. It is even bib­li­cally sup­ported.

No, his mis­takes were method­olog­i­cal. Firstly, he should have es­tab­lished with his daugh­ter from an early age, that de­fi­ance and dis­obe­di­ence will not be tol­er­ated and will have con­se­quences. Spank­ing should not be a “last” re­sort, but our first and only method of teach­ing obe­di­ence. If it is done im­me­di­ately when needed, there will be no ex­cess emo­tion present. Spank­ing is not done to in­jure the child but to bring a mo­men­tary sting as a con­se­quence of her choice.

Then the child is to be com­forted and held and talked to, at which time the rea­son for the spank­ing is ex­plained. It is be­cause the child is loved.

The sec­ond as­pect is to re­turn to the is­sue that trig­gered the neg­a­tive re­sponse in the first place, to teach the im­por­tance of obe­di­ence. If the child again re­fuses to fol­low di­rec­tions, she should be asked if she wants to have a spank­ing over this. If she de­cides to con­tinue to de­fi­ant, the process is with­out emo­tion done again, un­til she gets the point. Our daugh­ter needed only one day to get the point and never needed to be dis­ci­plined again. Our boys needed more.

I wish Mr. Aram­bula and his wife much suc­cess and pa­tience in his dif­fi­cult task of rais­ing his daugh­ter. With much love and con­sis­tency they will have much suc­cess. Dis­ci­pline done cor­rectly is never abuse, but train­ing.

– Rid­ney J. Nide­ver, Fresno Even Don­ald Trump to shall pass I’ve felt the ter­ror build­ing, and the dis­dain. Two years of wait­ing for the other shoe. And then it turns out he is just a silly old man. Afraid we would all find out his true self. No won­der he didn’t re­ally think he would win the elec­tion — even Don­ald Trump knows he isn’t much and hasn’t much to of­fer.

Of course, he does have the re­sources to make all our lives mis­er­able or even van­ish, but mostly he storms about the room throw­ing pa­pers and curs­ing his fate. He has re­vealed some things about some Amer­i­cans that are not pretty.

We must re­mind each other that this place is spe­cial and our goals to make the world a bet­ter place was at the be­gin­ning of our ex­is­tence. We es­chew cheaters and ad­mire those who give more than they get. As my dear friend Marion says: “And this, too, will pass.”

– Judy Schor­ling, Fresno Aim­ing to help low-in­come folks

Alek­san­dra Appleton’s ar­ti­cle on the im­pact of poverty on a child’s in­tel­lec­tual growth and de­vel­op­ment re­minds us all of the Val­ley’s press­ing prob­lems. The state’s task force on ad­dress­ing this is­sue notes that it is not only early child­hood ed­u­ca­tion that is a ne­ces­sity, but also health care, nutri­tion, eco­nomic op­por­tu­ni­ties and hous­ing.

As a board mem­ber of Read­ing and Be­yond, a lo­cal non­profit or­ga­ni­za­tion whose mis­sion is to em­power fam­i­lies to lead pro­duc­tive, self-re­liant lives, I am proud that we take a “cra­dle to ca­reer” ap­proach.

We have a holis­tic phi­los­o­phy and work with en­tire fam­i­lies through par­ent ed­u­ca­tion, preschool ed­u­ca­tion, tu­tor­ing, col­lege prepa­ra­tion, GED pro­grams and train­ing for em­ploy­ment.

Right here in Fresno we have zip code 93701, the poor­est in the state and ar­guably one of the poor­est in the na­tion. Stu­dents at­tend Roo­sevelt High, Te­hip­ite Mid­dle School and Jef­fer­son, Web­ster, Low­ell and Yokomi ele­men­tary schools. Surely they and their fam­i­lies de­serve the same op­por­tu­ni­ties that ex­ist in more af­flu­ent neigh­bor­hoods. As Read­ing and Be­yond ap­proaches its 20th an­niver­sary it con­tin­ues to work hard to level the play­ing field for these stu­dents and fam­i­lies as well as for many oth­ers in the Cen­tral Val­ley.

– Francine M. Far­ber, Fresno YOUR OPIN­ION Please in­clude an ad­dress and a day­time phone num­ber for ver­i­fi­ca­tion; limit to 200 words. Read­ers may sub­mit their sto­ries of life in the Val­ley to be con­sid­ered for Val­ley Voices. In­clude ad­dress and day­time phone num­ber. Limit: 700 words. Email sub­mis­sions to (no at­tach­ments). Sub­mis­sions may be edited and re­pub­lished in any for­mat, and be­come the prop­erty of The Fresno Bee. let­[email protected]­nobee.com

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