Stephen Colbert: 'Trump is the only person who can bring down a funeral'
Late-night hosts covered Donald Trump’s presence at the funeral of George HW Bush and how Robert Mueller is edging closer to the finish line. Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert showed footage of ex-presidents and first ladies engaged in enthused conversation on the front row of the funeral – but then Donald Trump joined them. “Then it became silent staring time,” he said.
He continued: “Donald Trump is the only person in the world who can bring down a funeral.”
After being “famously not invited” to Barbara Bush’s funeral, Trump was assured that the ceremony wouldn’t include any anti-Trump rhetoric.
“They even assured him that the choir would drown out the sound of other ex-presidents rolling in their graves,” Colbert said.
But many of the speakers praised the professionalism and honesty of George HW Bush Bush, which Colbert suggested could be seen as a dig. “As soon as you start praising someone’s honesty, you’re automatically throwing shade at Donald Trump,” he said. “I mean, Obama made Trump seem like a bad president just by sitting next to him.” Samantha Bee
On Full Frontal, Samantha Bee spoke about the Mueller investigation and how long it took Trump to answer his questions. “Presumably it took so long because every other time he tried to answer them, he got burger juice on them and tried to eat them,” she said.
Bee said that after Thanksgiving, Paul Manafort was tossed in the trash “like a picked-over turkey carcass” before moving on to Roger Stone, who is pleading the fifth, “marking the first time he’s every shut up in his life”.
She continued: “One Trump associate after the other is turning out to
be in deep, deep trouble so this holiday season as the Trumps gather around the blood tree, Trump will probably be at least a little afraid that it’ll be his last Christmas in the White House.”
Dulcé Sloan in for Trevor Noah On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah was still on vocal rest so his correspondent Dulcé Sloan spoke for him. She talked about how Mueller has spoken to the ex-national security adviser Michael Flynn a total of 19 times.
“Mueller has talked to Flynn 19 times?” she said. “If you talk to me 19 times that means we’re dating, and if we get to 20, you better propose. I’m just saying Michael Flynn should at least have a toothbrush at Mueller’s place.”
In reference to the highly redacted report, she joked: “That thing’s more blacked out than Brett Kavanaugh on a school night.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host looked back at Mike Pence’s comments at the start of Trump’s presidency where he denied that any meetings had taken place with the Russians, referring to it all as bizarre rumours around the candidacy. “Bizarre rumours around the candidacy?” Meyers said. “Bizarre rumours were the candidacy.”
Meyers ran through the many Trump cronies who have associations with Russia, ending with Stephen Miller who “moonlights as Vladimir Putin’s shoulder raven”.
When talking about his social media presence, Chuck Schumer suggested that Trump should maybe get his tweets approved by Melania before he presses send. “Oh, come on!” Meyers said. “You think he talks to his wife? She’s the only person who if Trump said there were no contacts I’d believe him.”