Colbert on Boris Johnson: 'Former foreign secretary and shaved muppet'
Late-night hosts covered Boris Johnson rising to the position of UK prime minister while comparing him to Donald Trump.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by showing footage from Trump’s speech at a summit aimed at conservative teens, who cheered after a montage showcasing some of Trump’s lowest moments. “That bloodthirsty cheering gives a chilling new edge to the phrase ‘I believe the children are our future,’” he said.
On stage Trump said that he was still waiting for the press to feature a positive story about him and if this one day happened, he would retire. “Quick someone give him a good story!” Colbert urged.
He then described the life of a Republican teen as alone, isolated and marginalised. “You’re just describing being a normal teenager,” Colbert said.
The host previewed the upcoming Mueller testimony as “the Super Bowl of things on C-Span at 830 in the morning” before referencing Trump’s tweet criticising Robert Mueller for taking a second bite of the apple. “I don’t think Donald Trump has ever had a second bite of an apple,” he said.
Colbert also joked that in the initial report Trump was quoted as saying he was fucked and “then out of habit he paid himself $130,000”.
This week has also seen Boris Johnson named the next UK prime minister and for American viewers, Colbert described him as “former foreign secretary and shaved muppet” before joking: “If you’re not familiar with Boris Johnson then congratulations.”
Trump has said that in the UK, people call Johnson Britain Trump. “No they don’t, they call him British Trump, America President,” he said.
He then referenced a childhood ambition of Johnson’s which was to be world king. “Trump’s childhood ambition was to be Burger King,” he joked.
Trevor Noah
On The Daily Show, Noah also spoke about Johnson and his enthusiasm over dealing with Brexit. “You know what I love about Brexit is how confident everyone is when they come into the job like everyone before them hasn’t failed at Brexit dismally,” he said.
Noah joked: “Brexit is basically the cinnamon challenge of politics.”
He also spoke about the severe weather experienced in recent weeks in America. “Guys, I think God is trying to send us a message,” he said. “I don’t quite remember the Old Testament but I think he’s working up to something.”
This week has also seen New York ban the declawing of cats after a backlash against the practice. “I always thought that declawing was a little weird especially since American laws still allow cats to own assault rifles,” he said.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers started by bringing up Johnson as well. “The UK finally answered the question: ‘If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?’” he said.
Meyers joked: “In 70 years the UK has gone from Winston Churchill to a roadie for Spinal Tap.”
In a tweet about The Squad, Trump referred to them as “AOC Plus 3” and claimed they are a nightmare for America. Meyers countered that “technically for Trump anything involving math is a nightmare”.
He also said that some bars in DC would be opening in the morning so that people could watch Mueller’s testimony live “so by dinner time you’ll be just like the Mueller report: mostly blacked out”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host spoke about the Mueller testimony, saying that “the witch hunter becomes the witch hunted” before moving on to Johnson.
He called it “the first time the UK has ever had a prime minister who looks like he smoked meth in an Arby’s dumpster” before making a comparison to Trump.
“It’s almost as if Trump is selling franchises of himself,” he said before joking that “England basically elected the Jim Carrey to our Jeff Daniels.”