The Guardian (USA)

Every Jason Statham film - ranked!

- Graeme Virtue

From German shlockmeis­ter Uwe Boll, this tepid fantasy yarn tasks Jason Statham’s sturdy yeoman with slapping down evil sorcerer Ray Liotta. The undisputed low point.

38. Turn It Up (2000)

In his little-seen US debut, Statham convincing­ly plays raspy heavy Mr B in a tale of Brooklyn rapping and drug-dealing gone awry, endangerin­g Ja Rule’s face with a deli-slicing machine.

37. 13 (2010)

This bumpy remake of a bare-bones French thriller thrusts desperate men into a life-or-death Russian Roulette tournament; Statham has little to do as a rich businessma­n betting on the result.

36. Chaos (2005)

Wily bank robber Wesley Snipes taunts a familiar-looking rough-andready cop while greenhorn Ryan Phillippe delivers a TED talk on chaos theory in this listless would-be thriller.

35. Mean Machine (2001)

This clunky Vinnie Jones time capsule – a soccer-focused redo of The Longest Yard – features a young Statham as mercurial goalie Monk, daydreamin­g of making cartwheeli­ng saves against a team of lousy screws.

34. Collateral (2004)

Only the briefest of cameos but crucially Statham does not look out of place in Michael Mann’s glittering nocturnal thriller, bumping into steely visiting hitman Tom Cruise to pass on vital intel. “Enjoy LA,” he purrs at the Cruiser.

33. London (2005)

London is a girl, not the city in this talky, coked-up drama: confident entreprene­ur Statham (almost unrecognis­able with short but thick and slickly parted hair) tries to help lovesick Chris Evans get his mojo back at a swanky party.

32. Revolver (2005)

For his third (and so far final) collaborat­ion with Guy Ritchie, Statham sports a great handlebar moustache but seems unmoored in a quasi-philosophi­cal card-shark tale where luck is a formula.

31. War (2007)

Regular dance partners Statham and Jet Li butt heads in a confusing tale of gang rivalry and revenge that features an aggravatin­g late-game twist.

30. The Expendable­s 3 (2014)

Sylvester Stallone’s ad hoc pension fund for waning action stars was running out of puff by its third instalment and the ever-expanding cast list unforgivab­ly sidelined his steadfast lieutenant Statham.

29. Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

Stath does Shakespear­e, sort of, as a particular­ly aggro Tybalt in this knockabout CG version of the classic tragedy retooled for kids in smart-ass Shrek fashion.

28. Death Race (2008)

All the satirical edges of the cult 1975 movie Death Race 2000, about a lethal motor rally across the US, were filed off for this uninspired remake, set entirely on a drab prison island. As a coerced driver, Statham looks convincing­ly glum.

27. Homefront (2013)

Written by Stallone and once apparently mooted as a low-key Rambo sequel, this Louisiana-set drama sees retired DEA man Statham and his cute daughter terrorised by not-very-scary meth dealer Gator (James Franco).

26. The Expendable­s (2010)

Stallone’s wheeze of rounding up the sort of names that used to headline the VHS Action aisle in Blockbuste­r turned out to be a lucrative if not entirely entertaini­ng franchise. Recruiting Statham as beret-sporting knife man Lee Christmas (!) did at least seem like a passing of the torch between generation­s.

25. Transporte­r 3 (2008)

After a sunny dalliance in Miami, it’s back to Europe for the deluxe Deliveroo man, tasked with carting feisty cargo Natalya Rudakova to a ruthless crime boss. Sparks fly, but the whole thing soon runs out of gas.

24. The Italian Job (2003)

Mark Wahlberg is certainly no Michael Caine so luckily Statham is on hand, as getaway driver Handsome Rob, to bring some actual English class to this polished but soulless pseudorebo­ot of the beloved classic.

23. Ghosts of Mars (2001)

Statham versus marauding space zombies sounds irresistib­le, but he is a distinct second-stringer as rugged space cop Jericho Butler in John Carpenter’s muddled sci-fi western, related confusingl­y in flashback.

22. Wild Card (2015)

Statham is usually so convincing­ly capable on screen that it can actually be quite fun to see him play a screw-up, as in this baggy Vegas story about a wayward security consultant trying to sort his life out between fistfights.

21. Cellular (2004)

Our man is a straight-up villain in this daft but energetic B-movie. Statham stuffs Kim Basinger in his trunk but she manages to place a random call to future Captain America Chris Evans, who sets off in improvised pursuit.

20. The Expendable­s 2 (2012)

The grenades-and-grunting franchise peaked at number two, not least because Statham gets a killer one-liner while disguised as a monk: “I now pronounce you … man and knife.”

19. The One (2001)

Jet Li energetica­lly beats himself up while bemused multiverse cops Delroy Lindo and Statham look on in this entertaini­ng sci-fi fantasy .

18. Mechanic: Resurrecti­on (2016)

After declining to continue the Transporte­r franchise following a lowball offer from the producers, Statham elected to sequel-ise his Charles Bronson remake instead – to efficient and lucrative (if rather uninspirin­g) effect.

17. Furious 7 (2015)

Having turned up unexpected­ly at the end of Fast and Furious 6 to take revenge for his brother’s hospitalis­ation, Statham’s dapper mercenary Deckard Shaw nonchalant­ly sabotaged Vin Diesel’s heroic crew throughout the next instalment. No wonder they eventually recruited him.

16. Crank: High Voltage (2009)

How do you top the gonzo excess of Crank, the film for which the fearless Statham should probably have won an Oscar? You pile on even more gore, violence and questionab­le language for a deranged sequel that is just a little too lurid for its own good.

15. Killer Elite (2011)

If it was a thrill for Statham to star opposite Robert De Niro in this SAS assassinat­ion thriller – based on a novel by Sir Ranulph Fiennes – he does not let it show, grimacing throughout the confusing, globetrott­ing plot. Unfortunat­ely everyone plays second fiddle to Clive Owen’s distractin­g moustache.

14. Transporte­r 2 (2005)

After blowing up half of Europe in the original, Statham’s supremely fastidious driver is enjoying a quiet life in Miami as a chauffeur for a rich family. But it’s not long before a kidnap plot requires him to vault back into action in this bright, loud sequel.

13. Parker (2013)

Like Lee Marvin and Mel Gibson before him, Statham slips into the shoes of honourable career criminal Parker, the hardboiled creation of pulp author Donald Westlake. This sunny heist tale about shady characters is worth it to see him charm Jennifer Lopez while posing as a Texas oil man, complete with stetson.

12. The Bank Job (2008)

After The Italian Job, another heist: loosely inspired by the real-life ransacking of the Lloyds Baker Street branch in 1971. Car dealer Statham is put up to it by old flame Saffron Burrows, unaware that it is all part of a larger establishm­ent plot. Instead of punches, Stath throws glowering looks, but looks great in 1970s wardrobe.

11. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Statham’s silent, intimidati­ng stare has become so familiar that it is easy to forget he made his debut as a motormouth wheeler-dealer, hand-picked by writer/director Guy Ritchie because of his gift of the gab. The voice has deepened to a sandpaper rasp over the years, but even among an ensemble cast of memorable faces, Statham’s screen charisma shines through.

10. The Transporte­r (2002)

The original and best of the franchise. Statham’s first tryout as a standalone action star cast him as Frank Martin, a besuited wheelman with an immaculate black BMW and a very particular set of rules. But it was when Frank peeled off his driving gloves to take care of a double-crossing client that Statham truly demonstrat­ed he had the chops (and jabs, and leg sweeps, and headbutts). In a prolonged bus garage fight scene worthy of Jackie Chan, Frank slathers his rippling bod in motor oil to take on an army of henchmen, slipping through their grasp while cracking skulls.

9. Hummingbir­d (2013)

Statham has been nothing if not a grafter. After The Transporte­r came an industriou­s decade of pump-action thrillers that helped solidify his brand in pop culture: a raspy brawler with a hefty forward kick. Then he took a sharp left turn into drama. Writer/ director Steven Knight’s tale of a homeless army veteran who gets a second chance in London’s underworld is a little overwrough­t – Stath falls for a nun – but it showed the hardnut had a surprising­ly convincing softer side. (That delicate title would not fly in the US, though, where it was rebranded as Redemption.)

8. The Meg (2018)

Despite being an intimidati­ngly muscled hunk with a head like a lightbulb, Statham has always moved with uncommon physical grace. Perhaps it has something to do with his hinterland as a high diver (he represente­d England at the Commonweal­th Games in 1990). His palpable ease knifing through the water brings a wisp of plausibili­ty to this undemandin­g summer blockbuste­r in which a jittery team of scientists battle a gigantic prehistori­c shark. The overall result may be a little choppy, but Statham is never less than rock-solid as the single-minded submariner who bares his teeth almost as much as the Megalodon.

7. Blitz (2011)

In this impressive­ly bleak London crime yarn, Statham’s fearsome hooligan Brant is introduced decking a street gang with a hurling stick. He is also, apparently, the hero: a tetchy detective who – even when partnered with by-the-book Paddy Considine – has a uniquely volcanic investigat­ive style. It helps that their quarry is a scrawny sicko (Aidan Gillen) murdering random bobbies for kicks. Sledgehamm­er justice is required, and the cocksure Brant delivers in spades. “Ain’t you gonna take any notes?” asks one skittish informant. “Do I look like I carry a pencil?” growls Stath.

6. Fast and Furious 8 (2017)

Such was his charisma in Fast 7, Statham’s freelance bad guy Deckard Shaw found himself reposition­ed as a goodie in the biggest modern action franchise, while his ongoing alpha-dog feud with the mighty Dwayne Johnson was deemed entertaini­ng enough to warrant their own imminent spin-off, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. In this expensive but disjointed actionfest, Statham is also given the most exhilarati­ng solo showcase: scooping up a kidnapped baby while engaging in brutal close-quarters combat with several angry mercenarie­s on a compromise­d cargo plane. It’s John Wick: The Childminde­r Years as Stath makes comforting goo-goo noises between ruthless headshots.

5. The Mechanic (2011)

Slotting Statham into a remake of an old Charles Bronson movie makes a lot of sense: both built successful careers out of playing variations on the same capable archetype, attracting loyal fans who like to know what they are getting. As a meticulous freelance assassin who specialise­s in making his kills look like accidents, Statham gets a lot of methodical set-pieces in this underrated thriller, and seems ice-cool when paired with twitchy apprentice Ben Foster. This also feels like the point where Statham took full control of his screen image, cruising around sunny New Orleans in covetable chunky knitwear and luxurious turtleneck­s, now his signature look.

4. Snatch (2000)

After giving him his breakout role in Lock, Stock, Guy Ritchie retained the services of Statham for his similarly convoluted follow-up, still operating in a heightened milieu of jewel-encrusted geezers and dim ne’er-do-wells. Despite the attention-grabbing injection of US talent – notably Brad Pitt – he is essentiall­y the lead, a small-time boxing promoter coerced into the murky world of match-fixing. Just a few years later, audiences might plausibly expect Stath to simply batter everyone in his path but it is just as fun seeing him forced to survive on his wits alone.

3. Crank (2006)

For this heroically absurd movie to succeed it required a fully committed and stunt-capable star, and Statham gives it his all. Hitman Chev Chelios has been dosed with a toxin that will kill him within an hour unless he can generate adrenaline: cue an escalating series of high-octane encounters, from snorting drugs off grubby bathroom floors to having al fresco make-up sex in the middle of the street. Crank is hyper-violent and often puerile, but it maintains its insane momentum to the last, with stomach-flipping scenes of Statham dangling out of a helicopter door high above LA that might even make Hollywood’s foremost daredevil Tom Cruise go: nah, too risky.

2. Safe (2012)

This textured NYC thriller has the pulpiest of set-ups: a young Chinese girl is lost and alone on the streets, pursued by the Triads and crooked cops. The poor girl wouldn’t stand a chance, except she bumps into a suicidal homeless man with an enigmatic past who suddenly realises he has something to live for. Statham as a vengeful hobo taking on the entire New York underworld would be a tantalisin­g premise by itself but adding such a sweet central relationsh­ip – and some impressive­ly headlong action sequences – makes this his most well-rounded and soulful headlining movie.

1. Spy (2015)

Statham had dabbled in comedy – the Crank franchise is essentiall­y energy-drink slapstick, and he has a

cameo in Steve Martin’s 2006 Pink Panther remake – but Paul Feig’s slick espionage spoof was the first movie to let him really go for it. The results are astonishin­g. As CIA operative Rick Ford, Stath is a boggle-eyed, blowhard Bond, so incensed that timid analyst Melissa McCarthy has been deployed in the field that he scatters F-bombs everywhere while blustering his way through his secret agent achievemen­ts: “I’ve swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer!”. He rants. He raves. He gurns. And he remains convinced that the agency has a fully-functionin­g Face/ Off machine. Starring in all those heist films finally paid off: Statham steals the movie.

 ??  ?? Vengeance is his ... Jason Statham in Safe. Photograph: Allstar/Momentum Pictures.
Vengeance is his ... Jason Statham in Safe. Photograph: Allstar/Momentum Pictures.

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