Seth Meyers: 'Nothing was gonna stop Trump declaring victory'
Late-night hosts dissected the fallout from Robert Mueller’s televised testimony as well as the growing student debt problem in America.
Seth Meyers: ‘Like a jukebox that only plays Achy Breaky Heart’
On Late Night, Seth Meyers spoke about how casually people are taking the testimony and how what Mueller laid out isn’t being viewed as dramatic enough. “In normal times, that would be incredibly damning but we’re all so numb to everything. People are acting like because Mueller didn’t come out and say the words ‘Trump is guilty’ it wasn’t a big deal, but what were you expecting?” Meyers said. “Did you think Mueller was going to smash through the wall in a monster truck called the Detrumpulator?”
Trump spent time gloating with press not long after. “You know that when he says ‘You know, it’s very interesting’ he’s about to lay out some five-star bullshit,” Meyers noted. He continued: “Nothing was gonna stop Trump declaring victory.”
One of the questions posed was met with a typically evasive and nonsensical answer. “Why does anyone even ask him questions any more?” Meyers said. “It’s like continuing to put dollar bills in a jukebox that only plays Achy Breaky Heart no matter what buttons you press.”
He finished by saying: “At this point it’s up to Congress to do something about it. They can either stand by and do nothing or they can impeach.”
Stephen Colbert: ‘We all felt as old as Robert Mueller looked’
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert joked about the length of the sevenhour hearings. “It was so long that by the end we all felt as old as Robert Mueller looked,” he said.
As soon as they were over, pundits were criticising the ratings, as they were lower than Comey and Kavanaugh hearings. “You can’t determine the value of Mueller’s testimony by ratings,” he said. “If that were the case then
Avengers: Endgame would be president of the United States.”
He added: “At least Thanos cares about the environment. He’s got someplan.”
Colbert disputed the analysis of the hearings and how the press critiqued Mueller’s performance. “Robert Mueller didn’t come to Congress to entertain us,” he said. “He’s like a doctor reminding us that the test came back positive and our country had a terminal illness.”
Trevor Noah: ‘Student is the new
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah took a different tack and chose to discuss the country’s growing $1.4tn student debt problem. “In many ways student debt is the new herpes,” Noah joked. “Almost everybody has it, it stays with you your whole life and eventually you’re going to have to tell your fiance about it.”
More graduates are moving back home while more baby boomers are still paying off their debts into their 60s with the costs following people through to their death. “We hope that’s where it stops,” he said. “It would suck if you were still paying off your loans in heaven.”
Noah continued: “Old people are losing their social security and young people are being forced to move back in.” He then added: “It’s going to reshape the American family forever.”