My life in sex: ‘At 70, I’m having great sex’
I’m 70 and my partner is 79. I had been widowed for 10 years when we got together. Although life was lonely, I wasn’t looking for a relationship and wasn’t interested in sex. We had known each other for 15 years, but some months ago began to discuss the meaning of life: what’s it all about? These conversations fostered a new intimacy.
I had taken it for granted that I was physiologically unfit for a full sexual relationship and was quite unprepared for my physical response to a hug and a chaste kiss. To my surprise, I had few inhibitions and we joyfully embarked on a pleasurable physical relationship.
At first, it wasn’t full intercourse. My partner got medication on prescription, but immediately rejected it. The side-effects were incapacitating and, besides, we enjoyed our relationship as it was.
Gradually, we found things changing. Increased confidence, affection and trust resulted in a fuller experience, and success and pleasure created their own virtuous circle. I felt no need to conform to my own, or anyone else’s, ideas of what a successful sexual relationship might be. Giving and receiving love and pleasure were enough.
We enjoy a sex life that would be envied by people decades younger, entirely without artificial means. If I had been told when I was 30 that at 70 I would enjoy sex even more, and at least as frequently, I would probably have been incredulous and faintly disgusted. But take it from me, sex is like fine wine. It matures with age. And somewhere along the line, I fell in love.
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