Jimmy Kimmel on Trump: 'Does he ever do any actual president work?'
Late-night hosts addressed Donald Trump’s fury over a new report from the Washington Post and his affection for the made-up word “foistered”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host mentioned that this week makes three years since Trump was voted into office. “It’s been smooth sailing ever since,” he joked.
Kimmel continued: “Trump plans to celebrate the anniversary tomorrow by playing golf then making love to an overcooked steak with ketchup on it.”
On three separate occasions in the last week, Trump has used the word “foistered” during rallies, a word that he appears to have invented. “It’s a combination of foisted and forced which also happens to be his two favourite ways to meet women,” Kimmel quipped.
He then moved onto a new report in the Washington Post which claims that Trump’s attorney general, Bill Barr, refused to take part in a press conference about the Ukraine call. Trump responded with a number of “ragetweets” aimed at the paper. “Does he ever do any actual president work? Or is it all just rallies and tweets now?”
Kimmel asked.
In one of the tweets, Trump criticised the media for not using factcheckers anymore. “Donald Trump claiming the media doesn’t fact-check is like R Kelly calling Chris Brown a creep,” he joked.
A vote on impeachment might happen before Christmas although Kimmel has a better idea. “Why not do it on Christmas?” he said. “That way we can start a new tradition of rewatching it every year.”
The basis of the inquiry is Trump trying to get information that didn’t even exist in the first place. “Trump tried to pull off a heist on a casino with no money in it, like a Trump casino,” Kimmel said.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert started with some good news: Stephen Miller is getting married. “Wow, love truly is blind,” he said. “I’d like to congratulate the happy couple and if you want to give them a gift they are registered at and it just says snakes, I don’t know what that means.”
He also spoke about Barr’s refusal to assist the president. “Bill Barr refused to publicly defend the president?” he said. “Something is seriously wrong. That’s like Nicolas Cage turning down a movie role.”
Colbert then moved onto the angry
tweets that followed the Washington Post report. “There’s only one way to make sure a story about Trump and that’s if he rage-tweets his denial,” he said.
During a recent rally, Trump said to his audience that they probably couldn’t think of anywhere else they would rather be at that moment. Colbert had other ideas: “The DMV, the dentist, someone else’s child’s clarinet recital, a Soviet gulag, covered in honey and staked to an ant hill, sliding down a 50ft razor blade into a bathtub of gun and in conversation with someone who knows a lot about Bitcoin.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers also spoke about Trump’s use of the word foistered. “Trump doesn’t make errors he makes discoveries,” he joked.
Meyers continued: “He sounds like Daffy Duck trying to say faster.”
He claimed that Trump is “surrounded by so many sycophants” that no one would correct him before playing footage of Lindsey Graham also making a number of mistakes on a recent Fox News interview. “Trump and Graham sound like two guys leaving a bar at 4am arguing who should drive home,” he said.
The last week has also seen two Democratic governors win in Kentucky and Virginia which has led to a Republican source stating that this could be a bad omen for 2020. “You guys really needed an omen to tell you things were not looking good?” Meyers said. “Republicans are like Ancient Egyptians trying to predict the seasons.”