Noah on Trump's rant: 'One of the least presidential things I've ever seen'
Late-night hosts discussed the most incriminating day of the impeachment hearings so far and Trump’s unhinged response.
Trevor Noah
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah discussed Gordon Sondland’s damning testimony that confirmed Trump’s desire for a quid pro quo deal with Ukraine. Sondland also placed blame at the foot of Rudy Giuliani and claimed that despite being told by Trump to work with him, he was reluctant.
“Sondland was talking about Rudy like that weird kid your mum made you play with,” Noah joked. He also said that he’d love to be a fly on his wall during the hearing. “If there is a fly on Rudy’s wall, I imagine he’d eat it,” he joked.
In response to Sondland’s words,
Trump gave a bizarre speech outside the White House, screaming at press. “That was one of the least presidential things I have ever seen,” Noah said. “He just looks like that crazy dude in the neighbourhood yelling at everyone on his front lawn.”
He joked: “Trump is the only president to bring down the property value around the White House.”
As he ranted, Trump held a handful of notes which have since been ridiculed. “Innocent people don’t need notes to remind themselves that they’re innocent,” he said.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert also spoke about Sondland’s testimony and how he was just doing what he was told. “Historically speaking, there is no defence more heroic than we were just following orders,” he quipped.
Colbert said that Sondland “also fingered Mike Pence” as he told of a meeting where Pence nodded in agreement to a nefarious agreement. “Now keep in mind, nodding is the biggest movement Mike Pence can make,” Colbert said. “If he moves his body any more than that, the devil will accuse him of dancing and Mother will not be pleased.”
He also joked about Sondland’s comments on not wanting to work with
Giuliani. “Get in line,” he said. “No one wants to work with Rudy Giuliani, he spits when he talks and smells like the inside of a belly button.”
Samantha Bee
On Full Frontal, Samantha Bee referred to Sondland as a “smug Wallace Shawn-looking motherfucker” and said that after so many respectable and reserved testimonies, it was his that was needed.
“In order to catch a selfish idiotic hotel business guy, you have to send a selfish idiotic hotel business guy,” she said.
She also enjoyed Sondland’s persona, stating: “It’s relaxing to watch someone who knows they’re a piece of shit.”
She played footage of Sondland incensed that the day was going on longer
than expected. “Unless you have afternoon plans to testify at a different impeachment hearing, you should clear your schedule,” she said.
Bee summed up: “Gordon Sondland is such a delightful dirtbag idiot that it’s easy to lose sight of what he actually did today. He is a firsthand witness to this conspiracy and he confirmed that the president, the vice-president, the chief of staff and the secretary of state all knew about it.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers said that the situation highlighted “one giant criminal conspiracy” and then also took time to joke about Sondland’s Giuliani comments. “No one would work with Rudy Giuliani unless they were ordered to,” he said.
Meyers said that Giuliani “looks like the devil on Trump’s shoulder except
Trump would never need a devil” before moving on to Sondland’s assertion that Trump was in a bad mood during the infamous call.
“Trump’s never in a good mood!” Meyers said. “He’s either screaming at reporters on the White House lawn or glaring directly into the camera like a burglar caught on a doorbell camera.”
He also called Trump’s lawn rant the “worst audition for a school play I’ve ever seen”.