Charlie's Angels review – a pointless, unfunny, brain-deadening dud
However absurd this sounds, when the last Charlie’s Angels movie reboot came out almost 20 years ago – with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu and Drew Barrymore as the three ass-kicking special agents reporting to their unseen male coordinator, “Charlie”, and Bill Murray playing their droll helper Bosley – it felt like an actual pop cultural event. There were feature articles in the press, asking readers to remember which of the Angels from the original 70s TV show they liked the best, and playfully noting what those various preferences inadvertently revealed.
This new Charlie’s Angels film, on the other hand, is the non-event of the year, a tree of boredom falling unheard in a forest of dullness: a braindeadeningly pointless movie starring Kristen Stewart alongside virtual newcomers Naomi Scott and Ella Balinska, catastrophically without the comedy and the comedy performances vital to making it work.
In theory, it could have worked: it is written and directed by Elizabeth Banks who is no slouch at comedy, and who takes an acting role herself. But, from the very first, this Charlie’s Angels is all about action and pointless international location work, without the necessary lightness and the solvent of fun.
Part of the problem is that Stewart is so much more famous than her costars, and more charismatic, but she herself is not very well cast or directed. Patrick Stewart now plays Bosley, and, to put it delicately, it seems as if he has his mind on other things.
The weirdest thing is that this Charlie’s Angels almost – almost – comes alive in the comedy action routines over the closing credits. Far too late, the film wakes up to the style that was needed all along.
• Charlie’s Angels is released in the UK on 29 November.