Kimmel on Marjorie Taylor Greene’s mask mandate comments: ‘What’s wrong with this woman?’
It’s America’s vaccinated summer – venues are open to vaccinated audiences, masks are coming off, and, as Jimmy Kimmel explained Monday evening, stores are slashing prices of hand sanitizer to get a glut of product off their shelves. “Remember how hard it was to get? It was like gold,” he said. “I actually bought the ingredients to make it at home. And then I was reading and I was like, forget it, this is too complicated.”
“The demand for hand sanitizer was so huge that a lot of vodka producers switched their factories over to making the hand sanitizer,” he continued, “which turned out to be a bad move; we didn’t need more hand sanitizer, but we definitely needed more vodka”.
In other news, Kimmel also roasted Texas senator Ted Cruz for posting a Russian military recruitment ad on Twitter with the comment “perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea…”
“Ted Cruz, who four years ago took permanent residence up the ass of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife ugly and slandering his elderly father, says this is emasculated,” Kimmel said. “Primarily because Ted Cruz is not human. He is a moist, gelatinous tube worm whose elastic band pants are filled with an inky discharge every time he speaks.”
“I’ll tell you something – for a guy named Ted, he gives the worst talks,” he quipped.
Also in Kimmel’s blast radius was Georgia Rrepresentative and QAnon conspiracy follower Marjorie Taylor Greene, who compared Nancy Pelosi’s continuation of the mask mandate in the House, where less than half of Republicans have reported their vaccinations, to Nazi Germany.
“Where the hell are those Jewish space lasers when you need them?” said Kimmel, referring to one of Greene’s many outlandish conspiracy claims.
“What’s wrong with this woman? Go home!” he added. “Go back to keying other parents’ cars at soccer games, you monster.”
Seth Meyers
“There are a lot of dumb takes out there about masks and vaccines,” said Seth Meyers on Monday night, but “by far the dumbest” came from Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose “every utterance sounds like it’s coming from someone being dragged backwards at a Costco, grabbing at the DVD rack”.
“She’s like the lady at the PTA meeting who argues that math violates the constitution,” the Late Night host added.
According to CNN, only 44.8% House Republicans are vaccinated, prompting Pelosi to keep the mask mandate in place. “In response, Greene, who has a history of antisemitism, used an absolutely insane and grotesque analogy,” calling Pelosi “mentally ill” and comparing the mandate to Nazi Germany’s gas chambers.
“She’s mentally ill? You just compared having to wear a mask to prevent transmission of a highly contagious respiratory illness to the Holocaust,” Meyers fumed. “I’d say you should be wearing a straitjacket, but I’m guessing normal jacket put on backwards would probably do the trick.”
“As a general rule, and this goes for everyone, don’t compare anything to the Holocaust, ever,” he added. “Especially if you’re the lady who famously said wildfires are caused by Jewish space lasers.”
Stephen Colbert
And on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert discussed Kentucky senator Rand Paul’s much-maligned refusal to get the Covid vaccine, citing his “natural immunity” after becoming the first US senator to be infected with Covid.
“Ok, except no one really knows how long that immunity lasts, and more importantly, your choice is going to affect other people,” said Colbert, ripping Paul’s logic as “I have my own personal decision to microwave clam chowder in the office break room”.
Paul explained his personal antivaccine position as “they would first have to prove that the vaccine is better than being infected”.
“No, they don’t,” Colbert responded. “They don’t prove that seat belts are better than accidents, or wearing a parachute is better than hitting the earth at terminal velocity, or that having hot spikes driven into your ears is better than listening to Rand Paul. It’s self-evident!”