‘There is a person behind the screen’: an etiquette guide for holiday shopping
As we approach our second Christmas at the mercy of a virus that just won’t quit, one would think people would have accepted that supply chain issues and other Covid-related problems might mean low stock and delayed deliveries, as has been the case for going on two years. But after speaking to business owners and frontline retail staff, it seems this is far from true.
The retail workers told me that most customers were perfectly gracious and well-behaved, but all reported a small group of shoppers that were hostile – even aggressive – in-store, online and on the phone, over matters that were quite clearly out of the service worker’s control. The word traumatised came up more than once.
“People have learned nothing from the pandemic,” one employee of a major tech brand said. “They still want everything yesterday and think it’s my fault if they can’t have it. It’s exhausting.”
Joint research by the University of Sydney and the Australian National University indicates that more than 50% of Australian retail workers have experienced customer abuse during the pandemic. “Workers feel disrespected and report that they have been on the receiving end of disrespectful treatment, threatening behaviour and bad manners from retail customers,” coauthor Rae Cooper said. “This was especially the case for women, young workers and culturally and linguistically diverse workers.”
“Some people are being really horrible,” one distressed employee in a big box store told me. “Just so, so rude. That’s why I’m wearing giant Santa earrings, so people will get distracted and not yell at me.”
‘It is quite difficult for smaller businesses’
With the Omicron variant now threatening to create even more mercantile obstacles and scrooge the world out of a merry yuletide once again, I asked a few smaller-scale retailers how they’re tracking, and what they’d like customers to know about the challenges they’re facing.
Praising the “kindness and politeness” of the vast majority of customers, Mike Bennie of P&V Wine + Liquor Merchants wants the public to understand that retail right now is “markedly different from pre-Covid times” and that customers should readjust their expectations and demands accordingly.
Bennie recommends that people actually read delivery instructions, lengthy though some may be. He says not all food businesses have access to the complex GPS and time-based systems used by big players like Uber and Deliveroo. “Please understand that delivery and freight services are external parties.” While store workers “have applied all due diligence to the dispatch and care for the goods”, once they leave the shop, “it is beyond our control”.
Emma Mulholland from eponymous fashion label Emma Mulholland on Holiday also emphasises the hurdles of being a small player in a space dominated by large chains and multinationals. “People’s expectations of online shopping and how quick their items should arrive has become hard to service,” she says.
“They experience such fast shipping from large retailers. It is quite difficult for smaller businesses to keep up with the demand.”
It may only take seconds to hit add to cart, but Mulholland urges people to shop with eyes wide open. “People get a bit excited without sometimes even noting what country they are buying from. I myself have done this. It’s hard not to get swept up in the moment, but it’s so important to look and understand the business’s policies before spending your money.”
Empathy goes both ways, Mulholland says. “Not many businesses would ever intentionally ignore a customer. It’s important to remember that we are 100% willing to resolve your issue … We are just all trying to deal with things in as timely a manner as possible.”
Avoid email bombardment
So, what shouldcustomers do when and if problems arise?
“Please be patient with our staff,” Bennie requests. “Starting by shouting might be a dramatic tool on stage, but in the presence of staff it’s likely going to undermine energy for finding a solution to your problems.”
And a tip: “I’d suggest that tracking orders and goods via social media rather than via your return email invoice contact is a folly, and likely not the rapid response many would hope for.”
In practical terms, Mulholland says customers should choose one method of communication when making an enquiry or reporting an issue. “We often find customers panic and bombard us with queries over several different platforms, emailing multiple addresses and posting or messaging on Instagram and Facebook. This creates a lot of confusion, as often it will start a chain of responses from multiple people.”
And always go gently. “Remember there is a person behind the screen,” Mulholland says. “And if you wouldn’t talk to them like that in person, maybe consider that before sending it off.”’
The truth is, things are going to go wrong. Gifts won’t arrive in time, supermarkets will run out of stock, flights will be cancelled and La Niña will rain all over our beach parade. But if we all accept this now and acknowledge it’s nobody’s fault – especially not the woman at the counter or the man on the phone – we’ll all have a much nicer time.
So tell your kids Santa might be late. Prepare your guests for a makeshift menu. Remember that perfection is a fallacy. Check your privilege. Breathe.