As an abused child, my success is the exception not the rule
Ibet that most people reading this have long abandoned their new year resolutions. For me, I’m sticking to mine. I like the discipline. They aren’t for everyone, but they help me focus my mind, set my priorities and measure what matters.
Childhood matters. But it seems we’ve forgotten that. Forgotten that happy, healthy adults grow from safe, stable children.
My childhood wasn’t that way. I’ve shared the story of my early years before: it shaped the man – the human being – I am today. Growing up tough was tough; fighting for food, fighting for love, fighting for a way out of my life. And my life was for ever changed when, at 13 years old, I was sexually abused by my headteacher. The person I should have been able to trust, in a space where I should have felt safe. It gave my life a heaviness, a hardness, a shame that I carried with me for decades.
Those streets in Les Ulis, in the south-western suburbs of Paris where I grew up, feel so far from the pitches that I played on, the trophies I lifted, the life that I now live and love.
I know my story is the exception, not the rule. But my statistic isn’t.
In the past year, one in two children experienced violence. I can’t shake this statistic. It has made me see the world differently. When I look at a football team, a classroom, a boardroom – half of them have been affected by violence. Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. Sexual abuse. We don’t talk about what this really means. It’s a hard punch in the face. A lethal weapon on the streets. A sexual assault from a coach. A never-ending cycle of neglect. An online onslaught of abuse. Living days in fear, spending nights in hope of making it to morning.
As I write this a billion boys’ and girls’ lives hang in the balance. Children who will become adults with limited life chances and choices. Who struggle with mental illness and substance abuse. Who often inflict the very violence they fought so hard to escape. Violence does more than harm individual children – it undermines the fabric of our society. It strips children of the opportunity to build happy, healthy lives and costs the global economy billions of dollars each year.
As a survivor of violence, and as someone who sees how rapidly brands, politicians and the public mobilise around trends, I really can’t understand why so little energy and investment goes into ending violence. It’s the right thing to do and it’s the smart thing to do. There’s a direct link between protecting children from violence today and the happy families, productive workforces and stable societies of tomorrow, but governments aren’t making that link.
We know the scale of childhood violence, we have the solutions, and yet it goes forgotten. An emergency without a siren.
So I’m sounding the alarm. And I’m sharing an opportunity – a responsibility – to respond.
This year, in November, the governments of Colombia and Sweden, in partnership with the World Health Organization, Unicef and UN special representative of the secretary general, will host the first global ministerial conference on ending violence against children in Bogotá.
We all know that global summits go one of two ways: they’re either a moment that truly steps up to the challenge, resets the agenda and marshals the money – or they’re not.
So now’s the moment – for leaders to come together and commit to childhood. To make pledges in line with the challenge and opportunity that violence presents. Big, bold, brilliant commitments that show real leadership in an emergency.
And to make sure that happens we need survivors, children, and their allies to make some noise. To make it impossible to continue to ignore this issue. To set the expectation that all governments will attend and announce ambitious action. Violence against children is a priority. We just need governments to see it, and spend to end it.
You’ll understand why this year, of all years, I’m sticking to my resolution: to make sure our most promising citizens aren’t our most vulnerable. Childhood matters and committing big at the ministerial conference in November is the best way that governments can demonstrate that.
Information and support for anyone affected by rape or sexual abuse issues is available from the following organisations. In the UK, Rape Crisis offers support on 0808 500 2222 in England and Wales, 0808 801 0302 in Scotland, or 0800 0246 991 in Northern Ireland. In the US, Rainn offers support on 800-656-4673. In Australia, support is available at 1800Respect (1800 737 732). Other international helplines can be found at ibiblio.org/rcip/internl.html
We know the scale of childhood violence, we have the solutions, and yet it goes forgotten. An emergency without a siren