Stephen Colbert on the Super Bowl: ‘The real winners were CBS ad sales’
Stephen Colbert took the stage for a special live post-Super Bowl Late Show – a “super post-game super monologue super”, as he put it – to digest the many, many sports and pop culture happenings during one of the longest NFL games in history.
“For the second time in Super Bowl history, we went to extra innings,” he quipped. “So I think we all know the real winners were CBS ad sales.”
In case you missed it, the Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers, 25-22, in overtime. “Finally, something good happened for Taylor Swift!” Colbert deadpanned. Her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, was victorious; before the game, Colbert noted, he was “dressed like a sparkly trash bag”.
Also before the game, the Department of Homeland Security showed a bunch of counterfeit merchandise they had seized. “Which is too bad, because I for one was looking forward to getting a T-shirt celebrating ‘Super Bowel Champs the Canvas City Chorfs!’” Colbert joked.
It was a low-scoring first half – at one point, the Chiefs seemed close to scoring their first touchdown, only to fumble the ball. Kelce was caught on camera yelling at his coach Andy Reid, which Colbert lip-read as “you’re embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, jeez louise!”
The NFL avoided many shots of
Swift during the game, but at one point caught her chugging her beer. “Have fun, Taylor, but please make sure you have a designated driver for your private jet,” Colbert said.
The NFL tweeted a picture of the moment with the word “icon”. “If that’s what makes you an icon, then my Aunt Rita is an icon-aholic,” Colbert quipped.
The host also touched on the “He Gets Us” campaign of ads for Jesus. “And ‘He Gets Us’ I think is so appropriate, because we all remember that quote from the Sermon on the Mount: ‘I’ll get you, I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I do,’” he joked.
As for the half-time show, which saw Usher strip down to shirtless – “bare nipples at the Super Bowl halftime show?! CBS is back, baby!” Colbert joked.
In other pop culture news, Verizon released an ad with Beyoncé, and then she announced a country-themed Renaissance Part II album out on 29 March. “That is incredible,” said Colbert. “I cannot wait for the album to drop, I am a huge fan, but I do have to say: announcing your album during the Super Bowl has real ‘getting engaged at your sister’s baby shower’ energy.”
Ultimately, one in four Americans bet on the game. “To which Americans responded: ‘one in four? I like those odds, where’s the ATM?!’” Colbert teased.
The game featured many bettingrelated ads, including one for BetMGM, the betting partner for the casino, that starred Tom Brady. “You know, after his crypto ad, you’ve gotta respect Tom’s dedication to helping your uncle lose the rest of his money,” Colbert joked.