Jimmy Kimmel on the Super Bowl: ‘Congratulations to Taylor Swift and her Kansas City Chiefs’
While Jon Stewart returned to the Daily Show as (temporary) host for the first time in nearly a decade, other late-night hosts discussed the Super Bowl, Biden’s age and Trump’s concerning comments about Nato.
Jimmy Kimmel
In his first show since attending the Super Bowl in Las Vegas, Jimmy Kimmel shouted out the real winner of the game: “Congratulations to Taylor Swift and her Kansas City Chiefs,” he said.
“There were a lot of good commercials. The only bad one, I thought, was … this,” he said, referring to the “DunKings” Ben Affleck, Tom Brady and Matt Damon. The ad was as good an excuse as ever for Kimmel to reignite his fauxfeud with Damon. “You know how they get Matt Damon to be in a Dunkin’ commercial? You don’t even have to pay him – wherever you put out donuts, he just shows up.”
After the game, the hashtag “rigged” was trending, “again from the people who believe football is fake and wrestling is real”, Kimmel explained of the conspiracy theory that the NFL rigged the whole season so Taylor Swift could endorse Joe Biden.
“Who actually believes this? I don’t know,” he said, but after the game “grand-Potus” and his social media team tried to troll the haters by posting a laser-eyed Dark Brandon meme. “Now obviously, Joe didn’t do that himself,” said Kimmel. “It was posted at 10.50pm. He’d been asleep for at least four hours.”
Trump, meanwhile, used the Super Bowl as an occasion to call Swift “disloyal” for not endorsing him. “He’s gone full Don-ye West on us now,” Kimmel quipped.
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert touched on a controversial ad for Robert F Kennedy Jr’s presidential campaign that aired during the Super Bowl. The ad, which referenced his uncle JFK’s 1960 campaign, drew condemnation from his own family.
Kennedy released a public apology: “I’m so sorry if the Super Bowl advertisement caused anyone in my family pain. The ad was created and aired by the American Values Super Pac without any involvement or approval from my campaign. FEC rules prohibit Super Pacs from consulting with me or my staff. I love you all. God bless you.”
“Well that is a very nice apology,” said Colbert. “That would seem even more sincere if he hadn’t pinned the ad to the top of his Twitter feed. Kinda insulting. That’s like sending someone a card that says ‘my deepest apologies … for rubbing my ass on this card.’”
Colbert also discussed a special counsel report from Robert Hur into Biden’s handling of classified documents. The report found insufficient evidence to charge Biden with any crime, but “did contain one bombshell. After a 15-month investigation, special counsel Hur determined: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert deadpanned. “And I’m sorry you all had to find out this way.”
Hur’s report described the president as a “sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory”.
“Kinda going off-road in a report about classified documents,” said Colbert. As if a jury said: “Your honor, we the jury have reached a verdict, we find the defendant not guilty of murder, but he is ugly and his mother dresses him funny.”
Many Democrats “panicked” at the report’s findings, with some calling for Biden to use better makeup. “Explains Maybelline’s new slogan: ‘Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she’s the only thing standing between us and the complete collapse of American democracy,’” Colbert joked.
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers looked into Trump’s affinity for Vladimir Putin, “the only world leader Trump ever seemed comfortable with”.
“When he met with Putin in Helsinki,
Trump looked happier than he’s ever looked in his life,” he said. “He’s smiling like a guy on Maury who just heard the words ‘you’re not the father!’ or ‘you are the father!’ if the child in question were Vladimir Putin.”
Meyers clarified that he did not think Trump was “some sort of secret Kremlin agent. Mainly because he’d a horrible spy. For one thing, the man has no stealth. He is the loudest and slowest human being alive.
“Trump’s affinity for Putin is much more straightforward,” he explained. “He has well-documented financial ties to Russia, he admires dictators and autocrats, and most of all he likes anyone who flatters him, no matter who they are.”
At a rally on Saturday, Trump took his support of Putin to “shocking new levels” by saying that he would encourage Russia to attack Nato allies if they didn’t pay their bills, “which is not how Nato works”, Meyers noted.
“Trump’s message to Nato is pretty rich coming from a guy who brags, all the time, about not paying his bills,” said Meyers. “The guy has stiffed everyone from banks to the IRS to hundreds of contractors who worked on his casinos to his own lawyers.”
Meyers reiterated that Nato had agreements on defense budgets, but it’s not a membership club. “If you want quibble with Nato policies like spending targets, fine, that’s fair game. But it’s dangerous and insane to announce that you’d encourage a Russian invasion because you’re annoyed at certain Nato members.”