Princess Peach: Showtime review – a paperthin performance
The ending of 1985’s Super Mario Bros, soundtracked by the iconic bleeps and blips of the 8-bit NES, has Mario finally finding the princess, who has been in another castle for the whole game. As the moustachioed hero leaps to her side, a text bubble reveals the name of our digitised damsel in distress: Princess Peach. She gives her thanks, the credits roll, and we bid her farewell.
As you’ll know if you watched Anna Taylor-Joy’s performance in last year’s Mario movie, the Mushroom Kingdom’s monarch is rather less one-dimensional these days – as you’d hope, given how video games and feminism have progressed over the past 40 years. But this is only the second game in which she has had a starring role, the first since 2005’s DS game Super Princess Peach. Showtime puts Nintendo’s pink princess literally in the spotlight, as a trip to the theatre goes awry and she must take to the stage to save the dramatic arts from … evil grapes?
It’s a strange but enjoyable setup, allowing Peach to dive into a litany of genre-themed side-scrolling levels. From sneaking through grass and running along rooftops as a dagger-clutching ninja Peach, to galloping on horseback across train tracks and lassoing bandits, each new theatrical backdrop offers the heroine another stage play to star in. It’s all impressively handsome, too. With well-animated, screenfilling bosses and charmingly rendered cakes, Showtime’s colourful visuals are delightful. Yet it only takes a few minutes of play before repetition sinks in.
From mashing a button to stir cake mix as Patisserie Peach, to the simplistic jumping and combat that defines everything from swordfighting to superhero fisticuffs, Showtime’s gameplay is thinner than the Paper Mario. A rare highlight here is the two ice-skating levels, which see a leotard-clad Peach carving her way across a whimsical winter wonderland. An action-packed kung fu vignette offers up a few smiles, too, the visuals lending an enjoyable level of kitsch to its rudimentary pummelling pastiche.
The problem is, where the house of Mario normally nails the balance between depth and accessibility, Showtime feels shallow. Whether it’s the diabolical mermaid levels or the laughably incomplete investigations of Detective Peach, many of these potentially fun ideas feel like prototypes that prematurely escaped Nintendo HQ.
Last year’s Super Mario Wonder was a delight for all ages, but Princess Peach: Showtime has little to offer those of us who have mastered our times tables. Its gorgeously scripted cinematic moments and visual variety provide colour and pomp, but it’s a royal shame that the inventive animations and narrative setup aren’t accompanied by the same level of gameplay innovation.
Despite the enjoyable premise and high production values, Peach’s long-awaited star turn feels disappointingly patronising, one-dimensional and forgettable – the polar opposite of the Super Mario Bros film’s capable heroine. As the Nintendo Switch enters its twilight years, this was the perfect moment to give the Mushroom Kingdom monarch the celebration she so thoroughly deserved. Yet where Kirby received a Mario-worthy, Iliadesque epic in Forgotten Land, this is more akin to a flimsy pop-up book.
• Princess Peach: Showtime is out now; £49.99