Jimmy Kimmel on Trump: ‘He keeps his caps lock tighter than the door to Melania’s bedroom’
Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s Truth Social rants, Biden’s potential TikTok ban and House speaker Mike Johnson’s “courage”.
Jimmy Kimmel
After plenty of focus on the former president, Jimmy Kimmel turned to another favorite target on Wednesday evening: Kanye West, who is reportedly launching an adult film studio. “He said, ‘You know what the internet could use? Some porn,’” Kimmel joked.
Yeezy Porn is reportedly in development with Stormy Daniels’s ex-husband, the producer Mike Moz. “If you had told me five years ago that Kanye West would be working with Stormy Daniels’s ex-husband on a porn venture, I would’ve said … yeah, I can believe that,” said Kimmel. “That doesn’t make no sense.”
In congressional news, the Senate voted on Wednesday to approve a bill that will either ban TikTok or force a sale of the short-form video app by its China-based parent company, ByteDance, within the year. A potential world without TikTok is “terrifying”, said Kimmel. “Without TikTok, where will I watch videos of wealthy teenagers crying in their cars?”
The Biden administration also decided to let elementary schools keep serving chocolate milk. “Could you imagine if Biden banned TikTok and chocolate milk in the same week?” Kimmel mused. “There would’ve been a middle school January 6.”
Trump, meanwhile, has been “milking this gag order for every bit he can”, by ranting about it on Truth Social. “The way he goes on and on – you’d think he was on trial for the gag order instead of for paying off a porn star,” said Kimmel.
“Every post is in all caps,” he continued, noting several posts of “WITCH HUNT” and “ELECTION INTERFERENCE” with various levels of punctuation. “He keeps his caps lock tighter than the door to Melania’s bedroom.”
The Daily Show
On the Daily Show, the guest hosts Jordan Klepper and Ronny Chieng celebrated the Senate’s passage of a long-stalled $95bn military aid package for Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan. “Yes, Taiwan. No, they’re not at war yet, but you’ve got to book a reservation in advance just to save your spot,” Klepper joked.
The package had been held up for six months in the House, because rightwing Republicans such as Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz threatened to remove the House speaker,
Mike Johnson, from his office if he helped Ukraine. “But now that they let it go through, everyone’s been talking about him like this,” said Klepper, before several clips praising Johnson’s “courage”.
“Moral courage,” as Mike Pence put it. “That’s courage,” said the hosts of
MSNBC’s Morning Joe. “So apparently Mike Johnson is the hero here,” said Klepper. “Sure, a couple of Ukrainian cities fell while he decided whether or not to be courageous, but he got around to it. And we’re always praising the first responders, but what about the eventual responders, huh? The ones who jump in their firetruck and say, ‘Hey! Let’s stop for froyo on the way.’ Where’s their ticker tape parade?”
“I salute you, Mike Johnson,” co-host Chieng added. “I mean, not now. But six months from now, I’ll work up the courage to do it.”