It's the 12th Day of Christmas and I'm making fudge—and here's how
Every year Christmas becomes more commercial, and it is not just all the made-for-television movies. These films follow their own formula; boy and girl or who ever meet and take an instant dislike to one another. Fate throws them together and soon they admire each other. Then, 20 minutes before the end of the film, they have a fight. Each goes to their own corners where friends, relatives or robots declare that they should give it another try. They see each other and fall madly under the spell of Christmas and, lo and behold, they unite—just as the white bearded man disappears up the chimney or out the door or in the mall. Poof!
If you have had a terrible pressure-ridden day, a movie like this might be just what you need. It is like chewing sugarfree gum, no decay and no trip to the dentist. Just sit back, pop some corn in the microwave, open your pop, and put your feet up. Make sure you have Kleenex tissue near, and chill out.
But there is more to this season than buying red and green items we mostly do not need. I like to make fudge for my family and friends. (Each batch takes an hour, so the gift is time, not just sugar.) I promised my buddies I would give out the recipe, but the instructions need to be followed exactly. You need a sauce pan with a copper core. It must be heavy gauge with straight sides. I am lucky. The one I have is 130, yes, one hundred and thirty years old. It was my Great Grandma Josephine’s pan. I was named after her and became a teacher because when I was five, she said so. We had a strict family, you did what you were told.
I was told this was the family fudge pan and it is. Try to get the right pan. Set up the kitchen before you start. Get a pie tin and butter the interior lavishly. Then make sure you put a Cream of Tartar tin next to the stove with a quarter teaspoon in it. Put a towel in the sink and run about two inches of cold water. Make sure the water stays cold. Put a “glass” glass with ice cubes and water about half way up. Have it on the side of the stove where you are cooking, also next to the can of cream of tartar. Near the sink, have one tablespoon of real butter, soft but not melted, where you can reach it from the sink. Also next to the butter, measure out one and a half teaspoons of real vanilla. Put a towel on the counter next to the cold water sink. Now you are ready.
Put three cups of sugar and three heaping tablespoons of Hershey’s Cocoa in the pan and mix dry till it is like brown dust. Add to it one and a half cups of real 100% milk. Do not use 2% or fake milk. You are making fudge which, if you could taste it now, you would understand the fuss. Mix the milk with the Hershey’s Cocoa chocolate and sugar till smooth.
Put it on a burner and turn it to medium. Look at the clock and let it cook, boiling first and rising up to near the top of the pan. When it get high toss in the quarter of teaspoon of Cream of Tartar. DO NOT STIR. REPEAT. DO NOT STIR. I know you will be tempted. DON’T DO IT. When it comes down, take a wooden spoon, make sure 40 to 45 minutes have gone by. Dip the spoon quickly down the middle and drip it into the ice water glass. If it rolls into a ball when you touch it, it is ready to leave the stove. This is volcano hot, don’t touch it if at all possible. With mittens on take the pan to the cold water sink and set it down. Do not let the water come anywhere near the chocolate. Put in the butter and vanilla. Start to stir, at last, and when the water heats from the pan being so hot, put it up on the counter and still stir. Within about 10 minutes, it will be getting tough to stir. Put it at once in the buttered pie pan. Glow in the glory of fudge. Everyone will ask for more. Roaring Mouse, licking the cooled pan, out.