The Independent (USA)

On spring winds and why we still need land line phones

- By Jo White

As I type, the Bosque in Albuquerqu­e is burning up on both sides of the river. After we survived the Dog Head Fire, and then my own dryer fire, I have gone out and bought fire extinguish­ers for upstairs and down. I put them by the grill outside and the utility room, too. However, we all know that won’t stop the New Mexico winds and ensuing fires from potentiall­y totaling our homes and property. We have a box of non-replaceabl­e photos, passports, marriage license, birth certificat­es, and military orders. But, I have now piled photos in so many tubs that it would take a platoon to bring them out and a transport truck to move them. My sons have convinced me to put photos on a “thumb drive.” I do both because who is to say Aliens from Mars won’t come and blow up all our computers. Speaking of technology…

Our phones went completely dead the other day. We have land lines because I say so. I have three cord lines into the wall up and down. Then, because I am lazy, I have cordless phones that won’t work if the electricit­y is down. The landlines still work. But needless to say, everything went down except our cell phones. Oh, and they too needed to be recharged.

I had my oldest son, Will, text the family (just the 31 we invite to the park for birthday parties) explaining that they needed to call us on our cells until the land line was fixed. He was not going to do it until I threatened him with showing his children his old report cards. He texted them all.

Will is an engineer who laughs at land lines. He felt aggrieved because I called Century Link to come and fix the outside box. It happens to break about every five years from snow and ice. They came that day and were out of here in 20 minutes.

Meanwhile my cell phone, on the text part, had 10 at least “memes.” Will did it. One showed a traditiona­l phone with a cord attached to the wall and two cell phones coming in the door yelling, “Grandma!” There is one with a girl on a beach looking at a land line. The caption reads, “The reason he’s not texting you.” Cruel!

I do love the photos on a cell phone, but if you were out of charge and there was a fire out here? And if the electricit­y was out? The land line would still connect to the first responders or whoever you would need. When Will and Kirsten had small girls, and not the ones in college and high school now, I warned them about leaving them with a babysitter always on a cell phone.

Of course, that never happened because I was the babysitter and I kept my cell charged, but I go on record today as saying, “Spring! How lovely, how windy, watch out for fires.” And don’t send me any more meeeemes. I am not amused! Okay, I am just a little.

How many people do you know from mystery novels who have been beaten to death with an old-fashioned phone? I need those statistics to draw on and then send this to Will, by U.S. Mail. Still Roaring, Mouse out.

 ?? ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States