I Don’t Want to Be a Sad Mother
The moon looks rough tonight I scrape my eyelashes on it. I need a full kiss in the dark.
This year I sleep with no one on my new pink sheets.
Missing you begins the first time I hold you in the operating room.
Things are set up in a way in my heart. I don’t want to be a sad mother.
Already I have used you to comfort me.
Already you have driven me mad, I don’t remember where, into the icy woods where I had to imagine waves until I was calm.
Forgive me. I have hated myself since I was a little girl.
When your father leaves me, I can’t tell you he is going.
I think of death toys in the water sockets. What is your favorite game?
When you wonder who loved who more, I can only say I wanted you more than your father