Excerpt from Un-

sometimes there’s just one cow too many

GOSSIP;

the child … rightly so, rightly so … just beyond the flink … a bit young … no, not too young … but on the other hand … a little fragile … youthful, definitely … no i don’t think so … stumpy … maybe a little stumpy … just a stumpy little dear … finally arrived hasn’t she … what do you mean, finally … just look at those stumps … oh don’t make fun … but on the other hand … her nibblers are empty … the least she could do … yes, the very least … with those fingers … an apple, maybe … the staring is disquieting … but why doesn’t she speak … she looks like … yes i completely agree … she looks like she bathes in her own milk … absolutely … too soft around the edges … like i said, stumpy … all the little ones are soft … not so soft … indeed, especially around the knees … the knobs you mean … quite right, the knobs … is she waiting for us you think … oh god no … the sun, i mean … rightly so … this green has been cooking … all day we’ve been waiting … nutty heat … nothing like it … you don’t think she sees … she must … agreed… i’ll give a nod … yes, a nod … very insightful … i love a good signal … no, more vigorously … well done … very well done, indeed … okay easy does it … i think … there’s something in those nibblers … an apple maybe … sweaty little nibbles … mind your manners … hey girlie … that’s not my name … oh sorry … truly very sorry … how embarrassing … i’m just getting the hang of it here

… i brought this … quite right … let me see … why don’t you put it in my ruminator … i can tell you what it is … oh no … i insist … just a quick little lick … it’s a stone … i brought with me a stone …