Wife overhears husband make demeaning remarks

DEAR ABBY » I am a wife and mother in my late 30s. I’m also a registered nurse, beginning a master’s degree program to advance my career. I consider myself to be an intelligent person, and I did well in college.

My husband is also intelligent, and I’m proud of his accomplishments in his career. However, he can be arrogant at times, giving the impression that he is smarter than everyone else around him — including me.

Today, I overheard him talking to his boss, whom he told about the master’s program I am starting in a few weeks. He then told his boss he would probably have to write some of my papers for me. I couldn’t believe he said that. First of all, it’s not true; I would never have anyone complete my work for me. Second, I found it insulting that he would say I need him to complete my assignments.

He didn’t know I was home when he said it, but I walked into his office as soon as I heard. He looked startled and apologized, but I just can’t get over it. I feel so hurt and humiliated. Is this what he tells his co-workers about me? How do I move on?

— Accomplished in Ohio

DEAR ACCOMPLISHED »

Your engineer husband’s ego may be threatened because you are becoming more academically accomplished. He may also have been trying to inflate his image in his boss’s eyes by casting you as “the little woman” when you caught him red-handed. Regardless of what he may say to others, your accomplishments speak for themselves. Don’t you forget that. As for how to move on, it may depend upon your willingness to forgive him for his frailties.