Bride-to-be doesn’t want sister in party

DEAR ABBY » I became engaged to a wonderful man five months ago. We have set a wedding date for next year. I’m the youngest of five girls. Four of us are extremely close. Three of my sisters have graciously offered to help with the wedding planning and preparation. I have included them in my bridal party.

There’s one big issue: My parents and two of my sisters insist that I include my oldest sister, “Iris,” in my bridal party even though she has a mental illness. She is medicated, but still speaks to her “voices.” I love her, but I don’t find it appropriate to include her in my wedding. My matron of honor is supportive and agrees it would be unwise. However, my remaining family is guilt-tripping me because

Iris missed out on two of my sisters’ weddings due to being in a psychiatric facility. She lives with my retired parents now and requires care and supervision. Am I wrong for not wanting to risk including her?

— Future Bride

in Kentucky

DEAR FUTURE BRIDE » Discuss your concerns with your parents, sisters and fiance and consider their opinions and advice. Get assurances of their help to ease your concerns and raise your comfort level.

More important, respectfully discuss your feelings and concerns with Iris. Instead of being in the bridal party, she might be happy with a less prominent role while still being part of the celebration. You may not realize how hurt she would be if she’s excluded from this family milestone.

Thankfully, you are healthy and stepping into a bright future. It would be wonderful if Iris could share in this joyful occasion.