Woman says ‘no more’ to abusive behavior

DEAR ABBY » I have a sister in-law, “Karen,” no one in my husband’s family likes. She’s rude and insulting and acts like she is better than everyone else. She feels she’s entitled to have family members watch her kids so she can do what she wants. (If you refuse, she drops the kids off at the door.) If anyone confronts her about her bad behavior, she claims she has anxiety and depression to make the person feel guilty.

Now, I’m not saying she doesn’t have these mental health issues, but I believe she uses them to manipulate others.

My mother-in-law keeps saying we should “turn the other cheek,” but I no longer can, especially when it comes to her insults.

I know many family members will side with her out of sympathy, but I can no longer sit back and accept her verbally abusing me and others with no consequences. I know I need a plan so I won’t lose my temper and say something I’ll regret, but I’m not sure how to respond in a respectful way. Any ideas?

— Doesn’t Like Conflict in Kentucky

DEAR DOESN’T » Do nothing without first warning your in-laws that you have reached your limit. The next time your sister-in-law is rude and insulting, say calmly, “I don’t deserve to be spoken to that way. That’s it for me. I’m leaving.” Then do it. Your husband should back you up on this. And while you’re at it, have him and his family determine whether Karen’s kids are at risk, and act accordingly. Dumping her children on someone’s doorstep seems like child abandonment to me.