Dear annie

DEAR

ANNIE: I have eight beautiful grandchildren. I have been blessed to help care for six of them from birth to 5-6 years old. My daughter has twin 7-year-old boys. She has issues with me that I’ve apologized for and have given her space to work through things. I’ve never met my twin grandsons. I’ve only seen them in pictures and several times in public, but neither she nor her husband knew I was in the same store.

I know our relationship isn’t going to get any better for the moment, but I want to meet my grandsons and get to know them with my hope being that she sees I’m a good nana—a much better nana than a mom. What do you suggest?

—Heartbroken Nana DEAR NANA: It sounds like you have a big, loving heart that you just want to share with those who mean the most to you. The key ingredients in mending your relationship with your daughter and getting to have one with your grandsons are consistency and patience. You’ve apologized and given your daughter space to work through her issues. When you reach out next, let her know just how much you’d like to meet those special boys and be a part of their life. It might take her some time to get on board, but eventually, she will hopefully see that their lives would be better with you in it.

DEAR ANNIE: I have had a friend for almost 10 years. I say almost as we are no longer friends. About six years ago, we parted ways as friends due to him letting his girlfriend create friction in our friendship and we agreed to just go our separate ways.

Time goes on and three years later, we ended up being friends again; he had left his girlfriend. This friend and I became close over the next two years, drinking, partying, etc. I put a good word in for him so he could get a job where he then met a girl who he decided to date. I was against this, and he knew because the girl’s family had done damage to my property with my ex a few years prior. I didn’t want to be a part of that again.

Again, he decides to remove me from all social platforms and stop being my friend because he got a girlfriend. A short time later, he breaks up with her, adds me back on everything and we are friends again. This friend leads me on in several ways when he is single with messages, pictures, actions and words. What do you know? A year later, he finds a girl and guess what. We are no longer friends again.

He always said I am just jealous that he had a girlfriend and that he didn’t spend time with me anymore. I am so confused why he proceeds to lead me on when he is “straight” and single, then always unfriends me when he finds a girl. I have made the decision that I will no longer be his friend after this relationship falls to pieces because I feel he is the one confused with his sexuality. Am I overthinking or being jealous?

—Confused or Jealous DEAR CONFUSED OR JEALOUS: Your instincts are right on—this person is not a good friend to you and is not worth your continued time or energy.

Some people lose themselves when they enter a romantic relationship. It seems not only does your friend suffer from this, but he fails to remember his life and the people in it when he has a girlfriend. It’s not fair to you to endure this whiplash. Focus your energy on the people in your life who value and reciprocate it. You deserve friends who are caring, loyal and interested in maintaining a bond with you, whether they are single or not.

DEAR READERS: Wishing each of you a happy Easter and happy springtime. Below are some quotes for inspiration, hope and joy.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “’Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees filled all the air with fragrance and with joy.” William Shakespeare “April hath put a spirit of youth in everything.”

Marty Rubin

“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.”

Robert H. Schuller “Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” Basil C. Hume

“The great gift of Easter is hope.” Jessica Harrelson “Spring adds new life and new joy to all that is.”

Victor Hugo

“Dawn and resurrection are synonymous. The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul.”

Oscar Wilde

“A flower blossoms for its own joy.”

Reba McEntire

“Easter is very important to me. It’s a second chance.” William P. Young

“I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration.”

S.D. Gordon

“Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.” Evan Esar

“Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket.” Dolly Parton

“I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. Don’t even try to tell me different.”

Henri Matisse

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

DEAR ANNIE: I have a dear friend with a loving dog, but I dread going to her house because her dog enthusiastically jumps up on me for the first few minutes I am there. I have tried doing what she asks me to do—turning my back on him—and have been not doing what she doesn’t want me to do—putting my knee out to keep him back or sternly saying “no.”

But he gets no better at any subsequent visit with her method of dealing with it.

I have had, and fostered, numerous dogs and have trained them to not jump up with just a few minutes of training. I’m coming off caring for her dog while she was out of town and am very over her dog jumping on me. She lives alone and relies on her friends to step in with the dog’s care when she travels.

Thanks for any advice short of meeting her elsewhere.

—Friend’s Dog Manners

DEAR FRIEND’S DOG MANNERS:

Have you tried to train the dog yourself while you are staying at her house? If you have, and he still does not listen, then it may be time to hire a professional dog trainer. Having a jumping dog is not only annoying but can cause someone to fall over. Talk to your friend and tell her your concerns so that she is aware of how much the problem bothers you. Since you work with fosters, you could probably find a highly recommended trainer for your friend.

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