The Maui News

Dear annie


DEAR ANNIE: I am one who married at 19. If “Disapprovi­ng” wants to maintain a good relationsh­ip with her daughter, she should voice her concerns but assure her daughter she trusts her judgment and will always be there for her.

My mother was not supportive at all. She told me in the limo on the way to church that I could change my mind even if I was walking down the aisle. I chose love; we worked through all the hardships life invariably threw our way, and we celebrated our 50th anniversar­y last year. Sadly, my mother chose not to be part of our lives and missed all the triumphs we achieved.

— Response from a Daughter

DEAR DAUGHTER: Thank you for sharing your experience. I do hope that you are able to find some sort of forgivenes­s for your mother after all these years.

People do make mistakes and change. You only get one mother.

DEAR ANNIE: I am responding to “Left for the Television in New York.” This reminds me of a cover story in Time magazine a few years ago, written by a man who said he suffers from PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunctio­n). That is pretty self-explanator­y, but it is an issue that most likely has become a concern in many homes globally.

The men can only become aroused or interested in the physical attraction to porn workers or the antics that they perform for the camera. This leaves them disinteres­ted in, or unable to enjoy, the woman right in front of them. I am hoping that an honest conversati­on and an excellent therapist can help these couples return to the “real thing.”

— Concerned about Porn

DEAR CONCERNED: Thank you for your letter. You are highlighti­ng the importance of why anyone suffering from porn addiction needs to get help immediatel­y. It can lead to all sorts of problems, and, in my opinion, porn is too readily available on the internet.

DEAR ANNIE: I absolutely loved your answer to “Betrayed,” who just discovered her boyfriend was hiding an addiction to vaping. Your advice is spot on.

May I suggest one more piece of advice for you to offer her? Please recommend that she go to Al-Anon. It’s free.

As you know, this group is extremely helpful. Betrayed and Blindsided will find a whole host of help with this group if she is willing to go regularly and be open minded. She will find many people in similar situations. Great friendship­s can come from attending.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Keep up the good work.

Peace and blessings

— Al-Anon Fan

DEAR AL-ANON FAN: Thank you for your letter. AlAnon is a great resource in helping families suffering from addiction, and your reminder will help others who have a friend or family member suffering from addiction.

“HOW CAN I FORGIVE MY CHEATING PARTNER?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communicat­ion and reconcilia­tion — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspu­

Copyright 2023

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