Dear annie
DEAR ANNIE: My longtime friend seems to be outspoken when I’m around her lately. I have a nervous habit of biting my nails, and when my friend is at my house, she yells at me to stop doing that, saying it’s disgusting. It made me angry and hurt to be yelled at in my own house, but I only replied, “It’s a nervous habit.”
Aside from that, she has made remarks that I never offer her wine, and after I made her coffee, she remarked that there was so little in the cup — which was 8 ounces.
How do I respond to her outspokenness?
— Nervous Habit DEAR NERVOUS: No wonder you are nervous. You have a guest over who is very demanding and judgmental — two qualities that cause anyone to feel nervous. I know she is a longtime friend, but if her behavior continues like this, it might be time to find a new friend and accept the fact that you grew apart. As for your nail biting, it is probably something that should be treated. Consult a professional to help you manage this behavior.
DEAR ANNIE: My stepdaughter moved out of our house about five months ago to be with a guy she met online.
Things are not going well. For starters, he doesn’t work; she does. He manipulates her and threatens to take her money, and last but not least, he beats her.
This whole situation is breaking my wife’s heart and mine. She left him for about a week but then went back — because he said he has changed. Bull. We were very close, but since she’s been with him, she’s been told not to contact me in any way nor to see me. What do I do?
— Feeling Helpless
DEAR FEELING HELPLESS: This is a very serious situation. Your stepdaughter needs help and support immediately. Please encourage her to contact www.thehotline.org. In addition, if you have a local YWCA organization, contact them. They usually have great resources. She must get out of this situation as quickly as possible.
DEAR ANNIE: I have a different take on our obsession with celebrities, which “Ordinary Real Person” wrote to you about. For me, celebrity culture and reality shows offer a temporary and fun escape into a world filled with glamour and drama. When I return to my ordinary world, I’m grateful that I don’t have to share my children with five ex-husbands, that I don’t have to worry about four homes on four continents, that I don’t have to go under the knife so people will love me, and that I don’t have to be trussed up like a turkey before I leave the house. I’m grateful that celebrities allow me an escape, but I’m also grateful that I’m not one of them!
— Love Being Ordinary
DEAR LOVE BEING ORDINARY: And I love this take. Thanks for sharing it.
“HOW CAN I FORGIVE MY CHEATING PARTNER?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.
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